Monday
Started off by me doing nothing. I called my father, sense it was his birthday. He is now 52 years old. I cant believe that he is that old. But I learned some good news while I was talking to him. he should have his patent in the next couple of week witch means he will be able to start max production. He should be able to get about 10,000 by the end of the year. witch would be good for him.
And it is official now to I am now a have reached the boyfriend stage in my relationship. I am so exited about it. I'm not just exited about having a girlfriend, but also to have a really good friend. That I know cares about me. I am also glad for I know that it will help my depression to. Just being able to talk to somebody helps with that. I know sense I am usually the one that everybody comes and talks to. I went to FHE also we were doing trivia games, I suck at trivia games. Special sense it is church trivia, somethings strange about that is I undoubtedly believe in everything that are church stands for. Witch is kinda funny because if you asked me any serious questions about it I most likely would not be able to answer it. I know I know what I am talking about, I just seem to have a selected memory or something. Because I only seem to remember what seems interesting to me. And that is just it the history of the church just isn't that interesting to me.
Tuesday
When I first got up this morning I went and donated plasma, Note: it is getting easier to control my heart rate I am able to lower it quicker now. I think that its because I am exercising much more now, but I also think that I pray for help with it more and more. Witch I think that It helps a lot. I started watching Starwars again. And during it I layed down for a nap but I forgot what time it was. I forgot I had to go pick Amber up Ops my bad so I was a little late. But its all good. when I got home I eat dinner witch we had tacos I love tacos.
Wednesday
Today I went to the planetarium, it was fun I haven't been there. But before we went down there we went to the post office. and after that we went to Walgreen's, Rid-Aid, and a pet store witch I cant remember the name of at this moment. When we got to the planetarium we got the tickets for the show The Ultimate Universe, witch was good. And it was kinda funny because the movie was old, because all the questions that were in it. have been answered by Nova a few months ago. But after we got the tickets we went to Barns and Nobel to look around. I always find it interesting to see the stuff that they have in there.
Note to self too I am now not at the boyfriend stage anymore. Witch in result of it I am now depressed again. But its really my own fault, I allowed myself to get attached to somebody. Its not my fault that I cat attached to them really easy. So it turns out that I really like somebody when they only sorta like me. I think that my problem is that I am to much of an affectionate person. I leave my self open to be hurt. And felled with disappointment, more then they do. And it doesn't help that every time that I go out with somebody It just makes it worse. Maybe its just my desire to feel wanted, or loved. Or that I know that somebody wants me around. I think that is what I really want. more then anything. I think that one of the main reasons why I feel depressed a lot of the time. Because I feel lonely and ignored. I really hope that it doesn't last for long. for last time I was really depressed it didn't turn out very well.
I went over to my grandma's and helped her for a little bit, doing things around the house for her. After that I went over to my dads. We watched a show called the Sentinel it was really good, and I spent the night there.
Thursday
The reason why I spent the night at my dads was because we got up early and went rabbit hunting. It was fun we saw 5 but only got three. Sneaky blighters got away, we rowed the ATV's for a while and then it was time to go. So we drove home and my dad dropped me off at my grandpa's house to eat dinner. Not everybody was there this year, normally there is about 40 of us. but this year there was only maybe 20 some people decided not to come. now that I am home I am ready for bed. Note I really was hesitating on if I was even going to go. Because I am still kinda depressed and I really just wanted to be a lone. I didn't want to answer any of there questions. and now I do kinda wish I didn't go. Like I was right they all asked questions, and I really don't want to talk to anybody. So I did what most people do in that situation they lie to make people stop talking to them. I know I shouldn't have done that. But I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody. So I am sorry everybody.
I found a quote today that I really liked, and it apply's to what I have been talking about this week. "To Love someone is Nothing, To be Loved by someone is Something, But to be Loved by the one that you Love is Everything.
I love this quote It reminds me of what I am working for.
Friday
Today this morning I went up to Bountiful to get some new ties. And let me tell you the drive is totally worth it. I went to the store for some rolls for dinner. And I also got my self some chocolate too. I have been looking at pitchers a lot on Pinterest a lot I think that I have become addicted to it. I been exercising a little bit today to. Latter Joseph came over and we were going to finish watching Starwars The Return of the Jedi. But it ended up him watching me play Assassins Creed for a few hours, sense he hasn't really seen anybody play the brotherhood one.
Saturday
Today when I got up I watched some game play for the new Starwars MMO it is looking pretty good right now. They are still in the beta stag I believe right now for it. I went and got Revelations today for Assassins creed, I have been playing that most of the day, its been relaxing.
Nov 22, 2011
Nov 17, 2011
Reason woth Understanding.
Thursday
So I just learned some random information today. Ready for this. Just 3% of Activition is worth approximately 327 million dollars. I have been kinda stressed out today, because One I hope I am able to make the first payment to the IRS I have to pay it by the 28th of this month. But after that payment I should be okay for the rest of them. My dad called me earlier today wondering if I wanted to go rabbit hunting with him tomorrow. But I really don't want to dew to that I am feeling kinda depressed and I know If I went I wouldn't be able to focuses anyway for I would be thinking about to many things. Next week I am going over to the SSN building here in the valley to see if I can get a copy of the file for disability I hope that they give it to me. I am going to apile the results that they gave me and still see If I can get on the disability.
I have been playing Assassins Creed again I am wanting to play the story again before I play the next one, but It has come out yesterday so so much for the Midnight release. Its ok though. I will just have to get one latter when I don't have so much going on and I am able to save some money for it. I have received some news today that my application for Medicaid has just started. its processes into the system. I have been so tired the past couple of day. Scratch that I have been so tired the past couple of years. And I don't know why that is. it might bee my bed but I don't really know because I used to sleep good on it. but know I can't I thought it was to soft. But now I think it is just to hard. It is so hard to find something that allows me to sleep so nice, with out waking up every couple of hours to roll over. I think that I has something to do with my shoulders to because when I do wake up its always my shoulders that are hurting, normally anyway. Every so often though my back will be hurting. And I think it really has something to do with the accident that I was in a few years ago. In witch I dislocated both my shoulders, and some of my ribs. And they never set healed properly so now I have circulation cut off to my arms every now and then. And it pinches all the nerves as well.
Friday
I think that I am starting to get getter control of my heart rate because when I went to do plasma today it was down to 78. I think that it is good, biking almost everyday is probably helping a little bit though. After I was done with the donation I went to Walmart. I needed to get a shirt for my project. I am making another pitcher for this shirt, and it is going to be great. But something happened when I went to print the pitcher out though I accidentally had the pitcher stretched just a little to much. I new I was forgeting something, I forgot to do a test run. Its to late now, and I am all out of Transfer paper now. :( and I wont be able to go get any till late next week most likely.
On my way home from Walmart I went up to Valley Fair mall to try and find the SSN building but I couldn't find it so I guess Ill have to go next week. It was kinda strange today because I was gone from 9 this morning till 3pm I haven't been gone that long sense I had work. I really need to update my Journal. No not this one my audio log. its my more personal journal and I haven't used it in about a month I should update it before I forget about it again. I have lost some more weight witch is good spending all that time on the bike is starting to help. And I have been trying to cut back on how much I eat even though I only eat about 2 times a day. I am trying to cut back on the amount that I eat during those times to see if it will help me loose more.
Saturday
Ok I am starting to get irritated and its only morning right now. Because I have been trying to find this one website that has all the episodes to all my favorite anime shows, and I cant find it. I don't remember the name to it, and the person that gave me the site in the first place. Well I cant remember there name either.
I haven't done much today besides clean the kitchen, take the garbage out, witch most people wouldn't be that big of a deal but sense I have to take it about a quoter a mile up the road every week, it kinda is a deal with me. I also did some laundry today. But besides that I haven't done much I just been playing some Assassins Creed, no not the new one I haven't got that yet. This is how lazy I have been today. I didn't even take a shower till 4pm. Tomorrow should be different though with church going on. Next week I hope I will be able to get the documents I need from SSN. If not it will be fun trying to get them from the offices that I had the testing done in. I weighed my self this morning and I am getting better. I lost 24 pounds this month . I went over to Steven's house at about 9 to watch movie. I stayed latter then I was planing on, for Krysta asked me if I wanted to stay and watch Stargate SG1 with here. And I looked at an opportunity to spend time with her. So we watched. 2 episodes. I don't regret staying. But I think that her father may be a little upset with me. For it was 2:30 when I finally left.
P.S. Not to all those that actually read my blogs/Journal I have decided that it is easier to do one posting for the whole week, then trying to remember to write one very day. So for now one I will only be doing one once a week.
So I just learned some random information today. Ready for this. Just 3% of Activition is worth approximately 327 million dollars. I have been kinda stressed out today, because One I hope I am able to make the first payment to the IRS I have to pay it by the 28th of this month. But after that payment I should be okay for the rest of them. My dad called me earlier today wondering if I wanted to go rabbit hunting with him tomorrow. But I really don't want to dew to that I am feeling kinda depressed and I know If I went I wouldn't be able to focuses anyway for I would be thinking about to many things. Next week I am going over to the SSN building here in the valley to see if I can get a copy of the file for disability I hope that they give it to me. I am going to apile the results that they gave me and still see If I can get on the disability.
I have been playing Assassins Creed again I am wanting to play the story again before I play the next one, but It has come out yesterday so so much for the Midnight release. Its ok though. I will just have to get one latter when I don't have so much going on and I am able to save some money for it. I have received some news today that my application for Medicaid has just started. its processes into the system. I have been so tired the past couple of day. Scratch that I have been so tired the past couple of years. And I don't know why that is. it might bee my bed but I don't really know because I used to sleep good on it. but know I can't I thought it was to soft. But now I think it is just to hard. It is so hard to find something that allows me to sleep so nice, with out waking up every couple of hours to roll over. I think that I has something to do with my shoulders to because when I do wake up its always my shoulders that are hurting, normally anyway. Every so often though my back will be hurting. And I think it really has something to do with the accident that I was in a few years ago. In witch I dislocated both my shoulders, and some of my ribs. And they never set healed properly so now I have circulation cut off to my arms every now and then. And it pinches all the nerves as well.
Friday
I think that I am starting to get getter control of my heart rate because when I went to do plasma today it was down to 78. I think that it is good, biking almost everyday is probably helping a little bit though. After I was done with the donation I went to Walmart. I needed to get a shirt for my project. I am making another pitcher for this shirt, and it is going to be great. But something happened when I went to print the pitcher out though I accidentally had the pitcher stretched just a little to much. I new I was forgeting something, I forgot to do a test run. Its to late now, and I am all out of Transfer paper now. :( and I wont be able to go get any till late next week most likely.
On my way home from Walmart I went up to Valley Fair mall to try and find the SSN building but I couldn't find it so I guess Ill have to go next week. It was kinda strange today because I was gone from 9 this morning till 3pm I haven't been gone that long sense I had work. I really need to update my Journal. No not this one my audio log. its my more personal journal and I haven't used it in about a month I should update it before I forget about it again. I have lost some more weight witch is good spending all that time on the bike is starting to help. And I have been trying to cut back on how much I eat even though I only eat about 2 times a day. I am trying to cut back on the amount that I eat during those times to see if it will help me loose more.
Saturday
Ok I am starting to get irritated and its only morning right now. Because I have been trying to find this one website that has all the episodes to all my favorite anime shows, and I cant find it. I don't remember the name to it, and the person that gave me the site in the first place. Well I cant remember there name either.
I haven't done much today besides clean the kitchen, take the garbage out, witch most people wouldn't be that big of a deal but sense I have to take it about a quoter a mile up the road every week, it kinda is a deal with me. I also did some laundry today. But besides that I haven't done much I just been playing some Assassins Creed, no not the new one I haven't got that yet. This is how lazy I have been today. I didn't even take a shower till 4pm. Tomorrow should be different though with church going on. Next week I hope I will be able to get the documents I need from SSN. If not it will be fun trying to get them from the offices that I had the testing done in. I weighed my self this morning and I am getting better. I lost 24 pounds this month . I went over to Steven's house at about 9 to watch movie. I stayed latter then I was planing on, for Krysta asked me if I wanted to stay and watch Stargate SG1 with here. And I looked at an opportunity to spend time with her. So we watched. 2 episodes. I don't regret staying. But I think that her father may be a little upset with me. For it was 2:30 when I finally left.
P.S. Not to all those that actually read my blogs/Journal I have decided that it is easier to do one posting for the whole week, then trying to remember to write one very day. So for now one I will only be doing one once a week.
Nov 16, 2011
A Post At Last
I know its been almost a week sense I have posted on here I just what for something interesting enough to post. Today after a few hours I finally was able to get a hold of SSN, but I finally got throw. They didn't help me very much though so next week I have to go over to the office here and try and talk to them there. Tonight I went over to a friends house and watched The Mission it was an ok show. I was surprised on some of the actors that were in it. I would tell you how was in it. But right now I am just feeling lazy and don't want to look it up. So you can if your feeling up to it. Tomorrow though I have to call the IRS and see if they will allow me to set up a payment plane yet. I hope they will because I don't want to deal with them anymore. For some reason my mouth has been sore all day. I think I cut it but I don't really know why. Also my mother is going to be gone mostly for the next week. and I don't like it. Here is why, because sense I am trying to quit my addition it makes it really hard when nobody is around to talk to when I start feeling erges.
Nov 12, 2011
Bad dreams
This song that is posted above is I would say is in my top three for most favorite songs. Even though this song is really depressing, I find it well I cant describe how it makes me feel. All I can say is I just get really relaxed and it makes me feel like I wanna cry, but in a good way. I can just listen to this song over and over again. But I don't know if I should just stop listing to this song because how much it reminds me of what I use to have and lost. But it is also good for it reminds me of what I want. Its sorta motivating. See what I mean in the time that it has taken me to write this so fare I have already listened to it 3 times
Today I haven't done much I went and got a hair cut, I think that I cut it just a little bit to short. I also went over and picked up all the cans from my grandfathers, I am collecting them so I can turn them in when I have a lot to get more out of them. The only other thing that I have done today is I am about half way done with the campaign on C&C II. But now that it is getting latter I am thinking about going to bed in like an hour. Speaking of going to bed I had a nightmare last night It was really bad because when I woke up I really didn't want to go back to sleep.. Witch is strange for me because I haven't had a bad dream that scared me sense I was little. This one was bad because I was being eaten alive, and it kinda scared me. So I layed in bed for and hour trying to think of happy thoughts and hoping when I fell back asleep that I wouldn't dream of it again.
Nov 11, 2011
Found the problem
The past few days have been kinda stressful, but productive
Tuesday I had my appointment with my counselor on seeing if I can start school or find work. I still haven't decided on what I want to do. I mean I want to start school but I really need to find work for I am starting to get so irritated having no money to do stuff. especial sense I really need it more then ever right now. Later that night I went to a movie with Krysta, and Kimberlee. We were going to go on Wednesday but we had to change the plans for that. We went to see The Three Musketeers, the new one. By my opinion it was good, but it wasn't as good as the Disney version.
Wednesday I talked with the IRS but I couldn't set up a payment plan yet. I wont be able to do that till next week. That was pretty much all I did that day.
Thursday I didn't do much. I was just listing to music most of the day and Let me share with you one that I was listing to that I really like. Its Someday from Nickelback
Friday I went and did plasma this morning. On my way home I stopped at FYE and got some movies, and another CD from Josh Groban. I think all I am missing now is one of his CD's I was also listaning to another song today that I really like its called Start Waring Purple from GoGal Bodellos. I don't know why I like this song so much but it might be because I just love the color purple.
After that I went over to Josephs house to watch a movie. The movie was 7years in tabet, it was ok I guess I didn't stay for the whole thing though, because I was falling asleep. It might have something to do with that I haven't been sleeping very well this week. And I just figured out why. Apparently my arms tend to cut of all the circulation every now and then that is why my hands are cold most of the time. but I cant sleep because a few years ago I was in a car crash and my shoulders got dislocated. But they didn't heal properly so it hurts to sleep on them for a long time.
Tuesday I had my appointment with my counselor on seeing if I can start school or find work. I still haven't decided on what I want to do. I mean I want to start school but I really need to find work for I am starting to get so irritated having no money to do stuff. especial sense I really need it more then ever right now. Later that night I went to a movie with Krysta, and Kimberlee. We were going to go on Wednesday but we had to change the plans for that. We went to see The Three Musketeers, the new one. By my opinion it was good, but it wasn't as good as the Disney version.
Wednesday I talked with the IRS but I couldn't set up a payment plan yet. I wont be able to do that till next week. That was pretty much all I did that day.
Thursday I didn't do much. I was just listing to music most of the day and Let me share with you one that I was listing to that I really like. Its Someday from Nickelback
Friday I went and did plasma this morning. On my way home I stopped at FYE and got some movies, and another CD from Josh Groban. I think all I am missing now is one of his CD's I was also listaning to another song today that I really like its called Start Waring Purple from GoGal Bodellos. I don't know why I like this song so much but it might be because I just love the color purple.
After that I went over to Josephs house to watch a movie. The movie was 7years in tabet, it was ok I guess I didn't stay for the whole thing though, because I was falling asleep. It might have something to do with that I haven't been sleeping very well this week. And I just figured out why. Apparently my arms tend to cut of all the circulation every now and then that is why my hands are cold most of the time. but I cant sleep because a few years ago I was in a car crash and my shoulders got dislocated. But they didn't heal properly so it hurts to sleep on them for a long time.
Nov 7, 2011
Monday
Today was a normal day by starting off with breakfast. What did I eat breakfast. lol I cant remember if I did. All well, today started off as normal, me not remembering anything and trying to focus as I try and wake up. It has been kinda bad I have been going to bed to early by my standards I normally go to bed around midnight. But lately I have been going to bed at 10:30 or 11:00 witch has kinds screwed up my sleeping pattern.
My stress level has been fluctuating the past couple of days though. I don't know why though because I don't have anything to be stressed about. Well I guess I do, finding work is the only thing that I can think about right know that would cause me stress.
I have been working out on the exercise bike today for a while to try and boost my heart strength, and also because I need to lose some wight as well. I think that I need to tighten the tension on the bike though because I was on there for 15 min and my heat rate never went about 145 witch is ok but I need it to get a little higher I think if I want to build it up a bit more.
I went to F.H.E. tonight it was alright we played some games. But honestly I just wasn't in the mood to do anything. In fact I really haven't been in the mood to do anything most of the day. Sometimes I really hate myself for not doing what I should have done, and yet not doing it. even though I had ample opportunity to do it in. Its not like it was something big, or something that in dire need of doing, it was something small. It was one of those things that you take for granted, and don't do enough of. I didn't do it, and I know I should have I am just gutless I think because the only reason why I didn't was because somebody else was there. I know I that shouldn't bother me. I feel really tarable now, it not like its was that important well, to me it is very important and the only reason why I didn't do it was because somebody was watching. Come on man its not like it is going to hurt or anything. As a matter of fact it hurts right now.
Anyways after FHE I went over to a friends house with a couple of friends and we watched Magamind I have never seen that movie before and I thought it was really good.
My stress level has been fluctuating the past couple of days though. I don't know why though because I don't have anything to be stressed about. Well I guess I do, finding work is the only thing that I can think about right know that would cause me stress.
I have been working out on the exercise bike today for a while to try and boost my heart strength, and also because I need to lose some wight as well. I think that I need to tighten the tension on the bike though because I was on there for 15 min and my heat rate never went about 145 witch is ok but I need it to get a little higher I think if I want to build it up a bit more.
I went to F.H.E. tonight it was alright we played some games. But honestly I just wasn't in the mood to do anything. In fact I really haven't been in the mood to do anything most of the day. Sometimes I really hate myself for not doing what I should have done, and yet not doing it. even though I had ample opportunity to do it in. Its not like it was something big, or something that in dire need of doing, it was something small. It was one of those things that you take for granted, and don't do enough of. I didn't do it, and I know I should have I am just gutless I think because the only reason why I didn't was because somebody else was there. I know I that shouldn't bother me. I feel really tarable now, it not like its was that important well, to me it is very important and the only reason why I didn't do it was because somebody was watching. Come on man its not like it is going to hurt or anything. As a matter of fact it hurts right now.
Anyways after FHE I went over to a friends house with a couple of friends and we watched Magamind I have never seen that movie before and I thought it was really good.
Nov 5, 2011
Minner Problems
The past few days have been okay I guess I had some frustration on Friday. Because the bill for the internet was late this month so we payed it later then normal. So they thought that we didn't pay it, so they turned off are internet. Witch is annoying, because now I have to call them to have them turn it back on. So I have been with out internet for about half the day. Isn't amazing how dull the computer seems to be once the internet is taken away. It kinda makes you wounder what people did with them before it was invented. I guess they just used them for documenting, witch is what I use mine for for the most part. I do play games on it. but not as much as I used to. I guess I use it a lot to listen to music, sense I haven't even owned a radio in like 4 years or something like that. I was going to look for jobs to but by the time we got the internet turned back on I had other stuff I was doing and I forgot about it.
Today I went to go and see if I could donate some plasma, but I couldn't my heart rate was to high again. I don't know why I have problems with my heart rate every time I go in there. Its not like I have anything wrong. according to the doctor my cardio vascular system is very healthy. I think it is just because I always get nervuse when I go into there but I don't know why I do. Its not like Im afraid of needles or anything. But to help it I went a got a exercise bike from my grandfather. He hasn't been using it very much so I asked him if I could use it. And sense it is getting colder out side I need to find something to do inside that is easier on my knees. For we all know I have bad knees, but some people don't realize just how bad they really are. So let me tell you it hurts to walk up a lot of stairs, and walk long distances. Pretty much anything with a lot of bending of the knees is bad for me.
I went and cleaned the church at 2 it only took an hour because a lot of people showed up. When I got home I started listing to some music. I found out only music can make you feel so depressed, yet so wonderful at the same time. I have been playing games the rest of the day to detract me of all the erges that I am having. Today has felt like it has been lasting for ever though I just want it to end. But I guess we cant have everything we want no matter how hard we try to get it. I don't know why I keep referring back to relationships when it comes to story time but I have a quote I want to share with you.
Today I went to go and see if I could donate some plasma, but I couldn't my heart rate was to high again. I don't know why I have problems with my heart rate every time I go in there. Its not like I have anything wrong. according to the doctor my cardio vascular system is very healthy. I think it is just because I always get nervuse when I go into there but I don't know why I do. Its not like Im afraid of needles or anything. But to help it I went a got a exercise bike from my grandfather. He hasn't been using it very much so I asked him if I could use it. And sense it is getting colder out side I need to find something to do inside that is easier on my knees. For we all know I have bad knees, but some people don't realize just how bad they really are. So let me tell you it hurts to walk up a lot of stairs, and walk long distances. Pretty much anything with a lot of bending of the knees is bad for me.
I went and cleaned the church at 2 it only took an hour because a lot of people showed up. When I got home I started listing to some music. I found out only music can make you feel so depressed, yet so wonderful at the same time. I have been playing games the rest of the day to detract me of all the erges that I am having. Today has felt like it has been lasting for ever though I just want it to end. But I guess we cant have everything we want no matter how hard we try to get it. I don't know why I keep referring back to relationships when it comes to story time but I have a quote I want to share with you.
“ A great Love is a lot like a good
memory, when its there and you know its there, but its just out of your reach,
it can be all you think about and you can focus on it and try to force it, but
the more you do the more you seem to push it away, but if your patient and you
hold still, well maybe just maybe, it will come to you,”
I Like this quote because it contently reminds me that the things that are most dear to us, the things that mean the most to us are the things that we cannot force into being. For if we do well will end up just pushing it away. Or make it uncomfortable to have in are presence.
Nov 3, 2011
Pass you shall not.... LOL
Thursday- When I got up this morning I took Amber to work, my Elders Corum is taking turns giving her rides to work and picking her up. Just in tell we can find her a permanent ride. That was all I have had planed this morning. So while I was whiting for 12:30 to roll around I decided to do some cleaning for I haven't done it in a couple of weeks. So I cleaned the kitchen, and emptied the dishwasher, sweeped the kitchen floor. I would have moped it but it wouldn't make much a difference for it will just get messy again when my uncle came to work on the pips again. And I also vacuumed the house, and started my laundry. and Surprisingly all of this only took me about an hour.
Well so I just listened to Pandora for a wile and played around on the internet for a while I was listening to the Canadian Tenors I really like them Let me share with you one of there songs that I really like. Its called The Perfect Gift its so moving.
As 12:30 rolled around I went and picked Krysta up and whited for Kimberlee. But she decided not to come. Witch is okay she had something more important to do.
While I am thinking about it I love this song to.
Anywayz back to what I was talking about before. We went to go see Dolphins Tale witch sense I haven't seen any previews for it before I was wondering if I would like it or not. But Krysta said it looked good, and I trust her for we went and saw that and it was really good. We went and eat at Arby's afterwards I love Arby's it is really good.
Now that I am home I have no idea what to do I guess I will try and figure out what type of exercise I will do for indoor cardio work. I won't have to figure it out for to long for I am going to go and get my grandpa's exercise bike on Saturday. So I just have to find something for two nights.
I have been trying to find work, but it is really hard. I can't even find someplace that wants to give me an interview. Good news I only owe the IRS half now I find it ridiculous that they are making me pay this now. Why didn't they have me pay it years ago when I actually made the mistake?
All I have been doing tonight is I have been watching some GSL games. I don't watch them very much but I like to watch them every now and then. I also finished my laundry and sorted it, now it is all away. Tomorrow I will have to find a project to do sense I finished most of what I have had to do today.
For all the Ladies.
Remember when you are picking and outfit to wear.
"A Smile is the Prettiest thing that you can ever Wear"
"PASS YOU SHALL NOT!!!!"
Well so I just listened to Pandora for a wile and played around on the internet for a while I was listening to the Canadian Tenors I really like them Let me share with you one of there songs that I really like. Its called The Perfect Gift its so moving.
As 12:30 rolled around I went and picked Krysta up and whited for Kimberlee. But she decided not to come. Witch is okay she had something more important to do.
While I am thinking about it I love this song to.
Now that I am home I have no idea what to do I guess I will try and figure out what type of exercise I will do for indoor cardio work. I won't have to figure it out for to long for I am going to go and get my grandpa's exercise bike on Saturday. So I just have to find something for two nights.
I have been trying to find work, but it is really hard. I can't even find someplace that wants to give me an interview. Good news I only owe the IRS half now I find it ridiculous that they are making me pay this now. Why didn't they have me pay it years ago when I actually made the mistake?
All I have been doing tonight is I have been watching some GSL games. I don't watch them very much but I like to watch them every now and then. I also finished my laundry and sorted it, now it is all away. Tomorrow I will have to find a project to do sense I finished most of what I have had to do today.
For all the Ladies.
Remember when you are picking and outfit to wear.
"A Smile is the Prettiest thing that you can ever Wear"
"PASS YOU SHALL NOT!!!!"
Nov 2, 2011
Three in one
Monday was a interesting I didn't do much all day except try and get a hold of the IRS. But about 6:30 I went over to a friends house before going to the stake carnival that my stake was holding. And as much as I thought it would be fun, it wasn't as fun as I was hoping it would be. But it was ok still I mean I enjoy talking to people for the most part. Well people that I know should I say, for it may not seem like it but I really am a shy person. at about 9:15 or so we went over to the Higgins to watch Nightmare before Christmas witch is one of my favorite Halloween movies.
Tuesday and Wednesday I haven't done much I looked for work and thats about it. Oh but Wednesday night I went over to Josephs house to watch Captain America I love that show. I cant what for the Avengers to come out next year.
Tuesday and Wednesday I haven't done much I looked for work and thats about it. Oh but Wednesday night I went over to Josephs house to watch Captain America I love that show. I cant what for the Avengers to come out next year.
Oct 30, 2011
The past few days
The past few days have been very stressful to me, let me lay it out for you. Well I would give you details if I could just remember them, but I have a bad memory. I have a hard time remembering what happened a few days ago. But I will give it a shot.
As you all know on Wednesday I went to a friends house and had some smores and hang out by the fire. I love fires for those of you that don't know. Think, think, think what else happened. Thursday and Friday went hadn't have much happen Thursday though I went over to my doctors office to try and get some documents that I needed. But like I suspected before they were not ready.
I might as well forget about them because I needed the documents, but the thing is I needed them like 2 months ago so I might just forget about them because they are no longer useful to me. I just want them to add to my collection that I have been making, with all the other stuff from my testing that I have had done over the past 4-6 months. Friday I have been stressing out because last week I revived a letter from the IRS saying I owe them 600$. I cant afford that, mainly because I have been out of work sense August of 2010, and let me tell you when you been out of work for as long as I have you really have no money. So I did the only thing I could do I sent them a letter telling them that I cant pay it because I have no money. and the reason why I am stressing is I have to pay it by the 9th of November and I still haven't revived anything back from them. I am I am going to have to call them on Monday and figure out what I am going to do. I really hope that I can set up some sort of payment plane or something, or else I think that I am in big trouble.
Saturday I have been looking for work I still cannot find anything witch is really starting to affect my self esteem. I look at it this way, witch is probably why I am starting to get depressed from it again. So I have to stop thinking like this and try harder to do something about it. The thing is the harder I try and nothing happens the more I get depressed about it. Let me tell you why its making me depressed. Well I try and tell you. Let me tell you what you are about to read is my own personal thinking, That changes rapidly this is just what I think know.
I am a very personal person what I mean by that is I have a hard time sharing my feelings. In my entire life there has only been two people that I have been able to be totally honest with. And I out of them, Non want to ever speak to me ever again. So you can see why I am hesitating to wanna tell people how I am feeling. I am afraid of pushing them away. And the reason for that is I am a loving compassionate person that seems to want to help people more then help myself. And that is all I want to I want somebody that will love me with all there heart. And the reason why I don't share my feeling is, when ever I find somebody that I trust enough to tell them. I am afraid to tell them. Because it is somebody that I care for them enough and love them enough that I don't want to push them away, I want to have them stay with me. witch is kinda selfish of me I know but its the only thing I want. I don't care about money, or the fancy things of this world. All I want is, somebody that I can love, hold on to, and take care of. Somebody that I can hug when ever I want to, and snuggle with when I get cold. And in return I take care of you and do anything for or with you that you want or need. Now I know what your thinking, Why are you telling me all this. Well the answer to that is simple.
The way I look at it is with all of these thing that I want and am looking for, I cannot just look up and pluck it from the sky. Just as I wish upon a star, As much as I wish I could just wish it all here that would be to easy. And I know that there is now way it will ever happen. So I have to do it the old fashioned way. Witch Its not working out very well for me. As much as a good friend as I can be I fear that that is All I will every be to people. I just do it to well. And anyways back to the hole not being able to find work. It goes with this because I mean. Who wants to go out with somebody that has no way of supporting them. Isn't that right women are looking for some security in the person that they go out with, witch is okay. I like security to but the problem I am having is. I have no security I cant offer people anything but my love. Witch in this world now a day's it is very hard to find somebody with just that. Because even though people say they don't care about money or about the fancy things in this world. I feel like they are just fouling them selves. Because once you tell them that you have nothing to offer them except compassion, trust, honesty, and loyalty. They turn around and never come back, Now don't tell me this isn't true I have seen int dozens of times witch have all happened to me. I think I have a hard time trusting women, and my thinking toads them is not so good, because the only thing that I have gotten from trusting women is heart each.
But In some way I am glad that they have done this, because if you cant except somebody for just the way they are without all the worldly stuff tagging along behind. Well I am sorry but I say you are not worth my time. for I don't want to date somebody that doesn't care about me. And only cares about what I can give her. So please if you are a person that only cares about what somebody can give you. And don't give a dam about the person him self please just keep on walking. And I am sorry If what I have said has made You feel bad, Its just how I feel. Maybe its just because I have had to many experiences that have ended bad. So in result of it I am very careful with how I date. If you think that anything that I have said is wrong please correct me. For I know I am not a perfect person, and I am very far from it.
Anyway after I have finished thinking about that all I did Saturday was watch some movies and play some games. I was trying to relax I pray next week will be better.
Sunday or today I went to church I was looking forward to it for it makes me happy and at the end of this week I needed to relax and be able to take my mind of of the problems that I am having, and a strange thing. You know I just realized something today, first I will say I believe in premonitions and know for saying that. Friday night I had a dream about me at church and I realized thinking about it. That today my dream came true almost everything today at church happened the same way that it did in my dream. Okay I think that it was kinda creepy, I have never had that happen to me before. Well I have had premonitions before. But not one that has happened so close to what really happened. I mean there was really only one or two thing different.
I know that not a lot of you out there like Big & Rich Here is the song, they write on of my favorite songs. Because I just can Relate to it so much. I am going to put it up but you don't have to listen to it if you don't want to.
As you all know on Wednesday I went to a friends house and had some smores and hang out by the fire. I love fires for those of you that don't know. Think, think, think what else happened. Thursday and Friday went hadn't have much happen Thursday though I went over to my doctors office to try and get some documents that I needed. But like I suspected before they were not ready.
I might as well forget about them because I needed the documents, but the thing is I needed them like 2 months ago so I might just forget about them because they are no longer useful to me. I just want them to add to my collection that I have been making, with all the other stuff from my testing that I have had done over the past 4-6 months. Friday I have been stressing out because last week I revived a letter from the IRS saying I owe them 600$. I cant afford that, mainly because I have been out of work sense August of 2010, and let me tell you when you been out of work for as long as I have you really have no money. So I did the only thing I could do I sent them a letter telling them that I cant pay it because I have no money. and the reason why I am stressing is I have to pay it by the 9th of November and I still haven't revived anything back from them. I am I am going to have to call them on Monday and figure out what I am going to do. I really hope that I can set up some sort of payment plane or something, or else I think that I am in big trouble.
Saturday I have been looking for work I still cannot find anything witch is really starting to affect my self esteem. I look at it this way, witch is probably why I am starting to get depressed from it again. So I have to stop thinking like this and try harder to do something about it. The thing is the harder I try and nothing happens the more I get depressed about it. Let me tell you why its making me depressed. Well I try and tell you. Let me tell you what you are about to read is my own personal thinking, That changes rapidly this is just what I think know.
I am a very personal person what I mean by that is I have a hard time sharing my feelings. In my entire life there has only been two people that I have been able to be totally honest with. And I out of them, Non want to ever speak to me ever again. So you can see why I am hesitating to wanna tell people how I am feeling. I am afraid of pushing them away. And the reason for that is I am a loving compassionate person that seems to want to help people more then help myself. And that is all I want to I want somebody that will love me with all there heart. And the reason why I don't share my feeling is, when ever I find somebody that I trust enough to tell them. I am afraid to tell them. Because it is somebody that I care for them enough and love them enough that I don't want to push them away, I want to have them stay with me. witch is kinda selfish of me I know but its the only thing I want. I don't care about money, or the fancy things of this world. All I want is, somebody that I can love, hold on to, and take care of. Somebody that I can hug when ever I want to, and snuggle with when I get cold. And in return I take care of you and do anything for or with you that you want or need. Now I know what your thinking, Why are you telling me all this. Well the answer to that is simple.
The way I look at it is with all of these thing that I want and am looking for, I cannot just look up and pluck it from the sky. Just as I wish upon a star, As much as I wish I could just wish it all here that would be to easy. And I know that there is now way it will ever happen. So I have to do it the old fashioned way. Witch Its not working out very well for me. As much as a good friend as I can be I fear that that is All I will every be to people. I just do it to well. And anyways back to the hole not being able to find work. It goes with this because I mean. Who wants to go out with somebody that has no way of supporting them. Isn't that right women are looking for some security in the person that they go out with, witch is okay. I like security to but the problem I am having is. I have no security I cant offer people anything but my love. Witch in this world now a day's it is very hard to find somebody with just that. Because even though people say they don't care about money or about the fancy things in this world. I feel like they are just fouling them selves. Because once you tell them that you have nothing to offer them except compassion, trust, honesty, and loyalty. They turn around and never come back, Now don't tell me this isn't true I have seen int dozens of times witch have all happened to me. I think I have a hard time trusting women, and my thinking toads them is not so good, because the only thing that I have gotten from trusting women is heart each.
But In some way I am glad that they have done this, because if you cant except somebody for just the way they are without all the worldly stuff tagging along behind. Well I am sorry but I say you are not worth my time. for I don't want to date somebody that doesn't care about me. And only cares about what I can give her. So please if you are a person that only cares about what somebody can give you. And don't give a dam about the person him self please just keep on walking. And I am sorry If what I have said has made You feel bad, Its just how I feel. Maybe its just because I have had to many experiences that have ended bad. So in result of it I am very careful with how I date. If you think that anything that I have said is wrong please correct me. For I know I am not a perfect person, and I am very far from it.
Anyway after I have finished thinking about that all I did Saturday was watch some movies and play some games. I was trying to relax I pray next week will be better.
Sunday or today I went to church I was looking forward to it for it makes me happy and at the end of this week I needed to relax and be able to take my mind of of the problems that I am having, and a strange thing. You know I just realized something today, first I will say I believe in premonitions and know for saying that. Friday night I had a dream about me at church and I realized thinking about it. That today my dream came true almost everything today at church happened the same way that it did in my dream. Okay I think that it was kinda creepy, I have never had that happen to me before. Well I have had premonitions before. But not one that has happened so close to what really happened. I mean there was really only one or two thing different.
I know that not a lot of you out there like Big & Rich Here is the song, they write on of my favorite songs. Because I just can Relate to it so much. I am going to put it up but you don't have to listen to it if you don't want to.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)