Bad dreams

This song that is posted above is I would say is in my top three for most favorite songs. Even though this song is really depressing, I find it well I cant describe how it makes me feel. All I can say is I just get really relaxed and it makes me feel like I wanna cry, but in a good way. I can just listen to this song over and over again. But I don't know if I should just stop listing to this song because how much it reminds me of what I use to have and lost. But it is also good for it reminds me of what I want. Its sorta motivating. See what I mean in the time that it has taken me to write this so fare I have already listened to it 3 times 

Today I haven't done much I went and got a hair cut, I think that I cut it just a little bit to short. I also went over and picked up all the cans from my grandfathers, I am collecting them so I can turn them in when I have a lot to get more out of them. The only other thing that I have done today is I am about half way done with the campaign on C&C II. But now that it is getting latter I am thinking about going to bed in like an hour.  Speaking of going to bed I had a nightmare last night It was really bad because when I woke up I really didn't want to go back to sleep.. Witch is strange for me because I haven't had a bad dream that scared me sense I was little.  This one was bad because I was being eaten alive, and it kinda scared me. So I layed in bed for and hour trying to think of happy thoughts and hoping when I fell back asleep that I wouldn't dream of it again.

Found the problem

The past few days have been kinda stressful, but productive

 Tuesday I had my appointment with my counselor on seeing if I can start school or find work. I still haven't decided on what I want to do. I mean I want to start school but I really need to find work for I am starting to get so irritated having no money to do stuff. especial sense I really need it more then ever right now. Later that night I went to a movie with Krysta, and Kimberlee. We were going to go on Wednesday but we had to change the plans for that. We went to see The Three Musketeers, the new one. By my opinion it was good, but it wasn't as good as the Disney version.

Wednesday I talked with the IRS but I couldn't set up a payment plan yet. I wont be able to do that till next week. That was pretty much all I did that day.

Thursday I didn't do much. I was just listing to  music most of the day and Let me share with you one that I was listing to that I really like. Its Someday from Nickelback

Friday I went and did plasma this morning. On my way home I stopped at FYE and got some movies, and another CD from Josh Groban. I think all I am missing now is one of his CD's I was also listaning to another song today that I really like its called Start Waring Purple from GoGal Bodellos. I don't know why I like this song so much but it might be because I just love the color purple.

After that I went over to Josephs house to watch a movie. The movie was 7years in tabet, it was ok I guess I didn't stay for the whole thing though, because I was falling asleep. It might have something to do with that I haven't been sleeping very well this week. And I just figured out why. Apparently my arms tend to cut of all the circulation every now and then that is why my hands are cold most of the time. but I cant sleep because a few years ago I was in a car crash and my shoulders got dislocated. But they didn't heal properly so it hurts to sleep on them for a long time. 

Monday

Today was a normal day by starting off with breakfast. What did I eat breakfast. lol I cant remember if I did. All well, today started off as normal, me not remembering anything and trying to focus as I try and wake up. It has been kinda bad I have been going to bed to early by my standards I normally go to bed around midnight. But lately I have been going to bed at 10:30 or 11:00 witch has kinds screwed up my sleeping pattern.

My stress level has been fluctuating the past couple of days though. I don't know why though because I don't have anything to be stressed about. Well I guess I do, finding work is the only thing that I can think about right know that would cause me stress.

I have been working out on the exercise bike today for a while to try and boost my heart strength, and also because I need to lose some wight as well.  I think that I need to tighten the tension on the bike though because I was on there for 15 min and my heat rate never went about 145 witch is ok but I need it to get a little higher I think if I want to build it up a bit more.

I went to F.H.E. tonight it was alright we played some games. But honestly I just wasn't in the mood to do anything. In fact I really haven't been in the mood to do anything most of the day. Sometimes I really hate myself for not doing what I should have done, and yet not doing it. even though I had ample opportunity to do it in. Its not like it was something big, or something that in dire need of doing, it was something small. It was one of those things that you take for granted, and don't do enough of. I didn't do it, and I know I should have I am just gutless I think because the only reason why I didn't was because somebody else was there. I know I that shouldn't bother me. I feel really tarable now, it not like its was that important well, to me it is very important and the only reason why I didn't do it was because somebody was watching. Come on man its not like it is going to hurt or anything. As a matter of fact it hurts right now.

 Anyways after FHE I went over to a friends house with a couple of friends and we watched Magamind I have never seen that movie before and I thought it was really good.