7/22/2011
This morning was so Unnerving for me, I didn't sleep very well last night. Dose that surprise you, it doesn't for me, not anymore. Is it possible for a guy to be bloated in the morning? Because when I get up in the morning, I feel like I am bigger then I am in the evening. Anyway after I got up I went and took a shower, I love just standing in the water it feels nice. Breakfast was another story, for some reason I felt sick when I was done. Don't really know why, but i just forced my way throw it and went to brush my teeth.
I tested a game for a few hours, because I have nothing else to do today. It was about 3:30 when my mother got home. We went to the store because I needed more socks, and a new shirt for Church because the one I have is starting to smell. And it doesn't matter how many times I wash it it still smells. So I am throwing it out. After starting my Laundry, I started watching videos on YouTube from TimeWarp.com. Its always fun to watch stuff in slow motion, everything just looks cooler. Monday I really should go job hunting again. Oh so much fun (sarcasm) hope I get better luck then in the past.
Today I got my notification for my appointment, at Valley Mental Health on the 12 next month. Its to see if I am mentally stable. Witch I think the only reason why they want me to go Is because I told them I have a mental disability. But I have to go throw it if I want to get on medicare, so I guess I will just suck it up and go.
I love quotes, Just added more to my giant list, I now have 30 pages Font 10. Now you have to admit that's a lot of quotes. I love poems to but I have now were near that many, wish I could find all the ones that I wrote in school. :(
I have to go and get bread still for tomorrow, but right know I am going to go fold my laundry, then I might go for a walk. I need to do more exercise, I am not loosing wight as fast as I like. all well there is only so mcuh one can do. End of note, and begin the action, Into the darkness of are soul's, and purify the tenderness of are hearts.
Jul 23, 2011
Jul 22, 2011
Extending Feelings to the Birds
7/22.2011
Last night I got a better night sleep then the night before. That is a good thing I was almost falling asleep while walking. But it was still like 8:30 when I got up, its not that bad to get up that early, but it is when you don't sleep very well. But I eat breakfast, it was very good, had some cereal again. I don't know why it is but I really don't like cooking, But I do at the same time. At about 10:15 I'm like I gotta get out of here, or I'm going to be late.
So I left to go get Krysta. When I got to her house she wasn't ready yet, its okay though I really don't mind whating. The only time that I don't like whating is when I am in a rush, but sense I wasn't it was okay, just like it always is. When I do stuff with her I try not to rush it, need to take the time and get everything right the first time. because unlike what people say there really is no second chances, and plus I don't want to be hurt again. I truly believe that I can't go through that again, It nearly killed me last time.
Anyway getting off topic a bit. we went Mini-golfing, it was fun. I haven't been in years, so I didn't do as good as I used to. But hey its not what its all about, its about the people you are with that make it fun. After we finished the round, we went back to her house to look up an address, because we could remember were Ice-Breakers was. We went there and had some ice-cream, (It was Delicious). They put a lot in one order because i only got about 1/3 of the way done. When we got back we watched an episode of StarGate SG1. Couldn't tell if she liked it or not, I forgot to ask here, and if see said I don't remember Darn my memory.
I really had a good time, and I hope she did too. I don't know if she knows this. But I like being around her she makes me feel better inside when I am not having a not so good day. And I find that to be good thing. Well I think its a good thing, when I got home I finished watching National Teaser Then eat some dinner. We had Hamburger Helper, it was good.
Here is a side not my thumb has been killing me the past couple of days, and I wish that it would stop. At least my back doesn't hurt that much anymore. Tomorrow I get to go shopping for Socks and a new Church shirt. Its going to be fun, and yes I mean fun, an like most guy's I enjoy shopping. Don't ask me why I cant explain it. Right now I am listening to Josh Grogan, and Enya, and I have work to do. So I guess i should do that. and if your wondering what I am going to do for the rest of the night. Ill go for a walk latter, its relaxing to me. I think ill go to the river and just listen to it. its soothing., But I should probably read tonight to. I have been getting bad at it. Haven't for the past weak.
Well good talking to ya all. If any of you have any questions, feel free to ask. If you want to know something about me don't be afraid, I talk no offense to the question. but I may not answer it. if it is to personal. Mainly about my past. I don't like talking about it. "If you have to think about if your offended, are you really offended."
Last night I got a better night sleep then the night before. That is a good thing I was almost falling asleep while walking. But it was still like 8:30 when I got up, its not that bad to get up that early, but it is when you don't sleep very well. But I eat breakfast, it was very good, had some cereal again. I don't know why it is but I really don't like cooking, But I do at the same time. At about 10:15 I'm like I gotta get out of here, or I'm going to be late.
So I left to go get Krysta. When I got to her house she wasn't ready yet, its okay though I really don't mind whating. The only time that I don't like whating is when I am in a rush, but sense I wasn't it was okay, just like it always is. When I do stuff with her I try not to rush it, need to take the time and get everything right the first time. because unlike what people say there really is no second chances, and plus I don't want to be hurt again. I truly believe that I can't go through that again, It nearly killed me last time.
Anyway getting off topic a bit. we went Mini-golfing, it was fun. I haven't been in years, so I didn't do as good as I used to. But hey its not what its all about, its about the people you are with that make it fun. After we finished the round, we went back to her house to look up an address, because we could remember were Ice-Breakers was. We went there and had some ice-cream, (It was Delicious). They put a lot in one order because i only got about 1/3 of the way done. When we got back we watched an episode of StarGate SG1. Couldn't tell if she liked it or not, I forgot to ask here, and if see said I don't remember Darn my memory.
I really had a good time, and I hope she did too. I don't know if she knows this. But I like being around her she makes me feel better inside when I am not having a not so good day. And I find that to be good thing. Well I think its a good thing, when I got home I finished watching National Teaser Then eat some dinner. We had Hamburger Helper, it was good.
Here is a side not my thumb has been killing me the past couple of days, and I wish that it would stop. At least my back doesn't hurt that much anymore. Tomorrow I get to go shopping for Socks and a new Church shirt. Its going to be fun, and yes I mean fun, an like most guy's I enjoy shopping. Don't ask me why I cant explain it. Right now I am listening to Josh Grogan, and Enya, and I have work to do. So I guess i should do that. and if your wondering what I am going to do for the rest of the night. Ill go for a walk latter, its relaxing to me. I think ill go to the river and just listen to it. its soothing., But I should probably read tonight to. I have been getting bad at it. Haven't for the past weak.
Well good talking to ya all. If any of you have any questions, feel free to ask. If you want to know something about me don't be afraid, I talk no offense to the question. but I may not answer it. if it is to personal. Mainly about my past. I don't like talking about it. "If you have to think about if your offended, are you really offended."
Jul 21, 2011
Tonight
7/21/2011
Today has been long sense I have been up sens seven. Uploaded some new screensavers for my computer, played some games for about an hour or so. watched an episode of Battle star, and now I am getting ready to go running/ or ride my bike. Haven't truly decided yet, but ether way It will be good for me. When I am done with that I might just go to bed, but knowing me it probably wont happen.
Today has been long sense I have been up sens seven. Uploaded some new screensavers for my computer, played some games for about an hour or so. watched an episode of Battle star, and now I am getting ready to go running/ or ride my bike. Haven't truly decided yet, but ether way It will be good for me. When I am done with that I might just go to bed, but knowing me it probably wont happen.
Can't Sleep
7/21/2011
I wish that I could sleep, but last night was one of the worst nights that I have had in a long time. I went to bed around midnight, but didn't fall asleep till about 12:30, I couldn't get my mind to stop screaming in my ear. I don't know how many times I really woke up last night, but it was some were around 5 or 6 times I believe, and one of those time I actually woke up on the floor. Witch is very hard for me to do, that means that I had to roll over my pillows and onto the couch and of that onto the floor. Honestly I really haven't been able to sleep well in a couple years, and I think I know why, but I'm not going to talk about it here.
So fare today I got up at 7:30 because I just can't sleep and watched some TV. It was about 9:20 or so when I went out and eat breakfast, ( I had scone's) Yum Yum. I just a few minuets I will be heading over to my grandfathers to finish what I started yesterday, moving all the food storage into storage. I am going to be so tired afterwards.
I was right I am so tired, and debating if I should go take a nap or not. but if i take a nap then I won't be able to sleep tonight again. so ill just have to force myself to stay awake. The time is currently 12:08PM and i am going to go eat lunch right now. After I think I am going to go finish the episode that I'm on, and I really need to call Krysta today. but I have no idea when to call here because I don't want to interrupt her if she is doing something important. I think i will call here in like an hour or so but first i need to eat.
I wish that I could sleep, but last night was one of the worst nights that I have had in a long time. I went to bed around midnight, but didn't fall asleep till about 12:30, I couldn't get my mind to stop screaming in my ear. I don't know how many times I really woke up last night, but it was some were around 5 or 6 times I believe, and one of those time I actually woke up on the floor. Witch is very hard for me to do, that means that I had to roll over my pillows and onto the couch and of that onto the floor. Honestly I really haven't been able to sleep well in a couple years, and I think I know why, but I'm not going to talk about it here.
So fare today I got up at 7:30 because I just can't sleep and watched some TV. It was about 9:20 or so when I went out and eat breakfast, ( I had scone's) Yum Yum. I just a few minuets I will be heading over to my grandfathers to finish what I started yesterday, moving all the food storage into storage. I am going to be so tired afterwards.
I was right I am so tired, and debating if I should go take a nap or not. but if i take a nap then I won't be able to sleep tonight again. so ill just have to force myself to stay awake. The time is currently 12:08PM and i am going to go eat lunch right now. After I think I am going to go finish the episode that I'm on, and I really need to call Krysta today. but I have no idea when to call here because I don't want to interrupt her if she is doing something important. I think i will call here in like an hour or so but first i need to eat.
Jul 20, 2011
Strange things
7/20/2011
To day started off normal, well at least you would think so. I got up about 9AM because I couldn't sleep because my back was killing me. Well I went into the kitchen to fix me something to eat, after I got dressed and went to the bathroom. Its kinda funny because I got a bowl out and filed it with cereal, But when I went to frig to grab the milk It got interesting. I opened the frig and stood there for about a minuet, I couldn't for the life of me remember what i was looking for. I had to turn around and look at the bowl before it clicked. After i finally finished my breakfast I went over to my grandfathers to mow his lawn.
When I got home my mother wanted to move all the food storage into the cars to take over to my grandfathers house tomorrow. I am so existed now that that's over with. And another thing to I finally finished loading everything onto the computer that I had before it took me about 12 hours to get it all on there. I am just going to relax for the rest of the day. well try to anyway. I have decided to find and gather lots of sound effects that why i can install my music maker again and start making songs again.
To day started off normal, well at least you would think so. I got up about 9AM because I couldn't sleep because my back was killing me. Well I went into the kitchen to fix me something to eat, after I got dressed and went to the bathroom. Its kinda funny because I got a bowl out and filed it with cereal, But when I went to frig to grab the milk It got interesting. I opened the frig and stood there for about a minuet, I couldn't for the life of me remember what i was looking for. I had to turn around and look at the bowl before it clicked. After i finally finished my breakfast I went over to my grandfathers to mow his lawn.
When I got home my mother wanted to move all the food storage into the cars to take over to my grandfathers house tomorrow. I am so existed now that that's over with. And another thing to I finally finished loading everything onto the computer that I had before it took me about 12 hours to get it all on there. I am just going to relax for the rest of the day. well try to anyway. I have decided to find and gather lots of sound effects that why i can install my music maker again and start making songs again.
Jul 19, 2011
Out of Power
7/19/2011
Today when i got up I was going to wipe my computer's memory, but as i started somebody decided to test, or destroy the power sistem up the street so i lost power. The instalment was almost finished to. Well it cam back on in a few minets so i decided to try it again. And as i tried I went and mowed are lawn so I would have something to do will i was whating. Well aparently when i was out there the power decided to go out again. Well will I was whating for the power to come back on again i went and droped off some cookies. The power was back on when i got back, so i started the instalment again. I think that tonight is going to be long because I am not going to bed till i am finished instaling everything on my computer again. I also have my apoinments set up for my physical next mouth. And also next month my Drivers Lisence expires, and my car inserence runs out, so I wont be able to drive my car. I am running out of things I can do, I really hope i can find a job soon.
Today when i got up I was going to wipe my computer's memory, but as i started somebody decided to test, or destroy the power sistem up the street so i lost power. The instalment was almost finished to. Well it cam back on in a few minets so i decided to try it again. And as i tried I went and mowed are lawn so I would have something to do will i was whating. Well aparently when i was out there the power decided to go out again. Well will I was whating for the power to come back on again i went and droped off some cookies. The power was back on when i got back, so i started the instalment again. I think that tonight is going to be long because I am not going to bed till i am finished instaling everything on my computer again. I also have my apoinments set up for my physical next mouth. And also next month my Drivers Lisence expires, and my car inserence runs out, so I wont be able to drive my car. I am running out of things I can do, I really hope i can find a job soon.
Feelings
7/19/2011
Today i was job hunting for hours and to my surprise the only one that i found that i even had qualifications for was the carpet specialist at the District. I take it that people really don't like that because this is the 3 time i have seen it up there in the past year. But it doesn't matter i applied for it anyway. now lets see if they would even consider hiring me back due to my background there. I mean its not like I did it on purpose, and I would have apologized for it but my supervise was being an ass so I didn't even bother with it.
Well i also decided to do my laundry, because i finally figured out what was smelling in my room. After I removed the basket it smelt better in there, not great but better witch its what counts right. I washed them twice just to make sure that all the smell was out of them, I think i got it all this time. After all that excitement I went on line to find some music and I found a website for some but first i need to download it so thats what I am doing.
Its still not finished but i need to leave to go to FHE. I love FHE not because of the activities but because of the social interaction. For those people that do not already know i am person in need of social interaction. Its not that I have to talk to people, in fact a lot of the time i really prefer not to talk at all, its just being around them that makes me feel good. Knowing that people want me there is all that I need. Don't believe me. watch what happens when I am left alone for a long period of time, I start to get depressed. And for those people that really know me witch are like 2 people in my entire life that really know how i am.
Maybe its because i have a problem of bottling up all my feelings, witch is not good either, but for those people that don't know me very well here is a little secret about me. When i get depressed, I tend to have thoughts of suicide. Now before you freak out I just want to let you know that its not entirely my fault. I can't help it. My body produces a low amount of serration-en, witch if anybody knows anything about the human body that that makes people depressed without fault.
Anyway sorry bout getting off topic, let me get back to my day. At FHE we played water kick ball witch seemed fun, but also for those people that don't know me that well I really don't like playing sports that much. I have more fun siting on the side lines then playing. It was fun, after that we went back to Stevens, and Krysta's house to finish watching the Star-Wars saga witch in-fact we started like 2 months ago. Man what has taken us so long. I guess last week didn't help any with that though. But i am glad we did it i really had fun doing it.
When i got home i was so tired that I didn't do anything but go strait to bed. Scratch that said my prayers first then went to bed cant miss that.
Today i was job hunting for hours and to my surprise the only one that i found that i even had qualifications for was the carpet specialist at the District. I take it that people really don't like that because this is the 3 time i have seen it up there in the past year. But it doesn't matter i applied for it anyway. now lets see if they would even consider hiring me back due to my background there. I mean its not like I did it on purpose, and I would have apologized for it but my supervise was being an ass so I didn't even bother with it.
Well i also decided to do my laundry, because i finally figured out what was smelling in my room. After I removed the basket it smelt better in there, not great but better witch its what counts right. I washed them twice just to make sure that all the smell was out of them, I think i got it all this time. After all that excitement I went on line to find some music and I found a website for some but first i need to download it so thats what I am doing.
Its still not finished but i need to leave to go to FHE. I love FHE not because of the activities but because of the social interaction. For those people that do not already know i am person in need of social interaction. Its not that I have to talk to people, in fact a lot of the time i really prefer not to talk at all, its just being around them that makes me feel good. Knowing that people want me there is all that I need. Don't believe me. watch what happens when I am left alone for a long period of time, I start to get depressed. And for those people that really know me witch are like 2 people in my entire life that really know how i am.
Maybe its because i have a problem of bottling up all my feelings, witch is not good either, but for those people that don't know me very well here is a little secret about me. When i get depressed, I tend to have thoughts of suicide. Now before you freak out I just want to let you know that its not entirely my fault. I can't help it. My body produces a low amount of serration-en, witch if anybody knows anything about the human body that that makes people depressed without fault.
Anyway sorry bout getting off topic, let me get back to my day. At FHE we played water kick ball witch seemed fun, but also for those people that don't know me that well I really don't like playing sports that much. I have more fun siting on the side lines then playing. It was fun, after that we went back to Stevens, and Krysta's house to finish watching the Star-Wars saga witch in-fact we started like 2 months ago. Man what has taken us so long. I guess last week didn't help any with that though. But i am glad we did it i really had fun doing it.
When i got home i was so tired that I didn't do anything but go strait to bed. Scratch that said my prayers first then went to bed cant miss that.
Jul 17, 2011
The Music
7/17/2011
Music is the soul of my life, i love music and the feeling i get when i listen to it. The music of life is a sweet sound to here, but if you don't know what to listen for, you will pass it all by. i have been listening to people Like Josh Groban, Billy Joel, Elton John, and Queen. they are some of my favorite bands.
I just finished creating my new chart for church today. will see how this one helps on making things work better. i might go for a walk or bike ride tonight don't know witch one yet. keep you updated in next blog.
Music is the soul of my life, i love music and the feeling i get when i listen to it. The music of life is a sweet sound to here, but if you don't know what to listen for, you will pass it all by. i have been listening to people Like Josh Groban, Billy Joel, Elton John, and Queen. they are some of my favorite bands.
I just finished creating my new chart for church today. will see how this one helps on making things work better. i might go for a walk or bike ride tonight don't know witch one yet. keep you updated in next blog.
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