Feelings

 7/19/2011

           Today i was job hunting for hours and to my surprise the only one that i found that i even had qualifications for was the carpet specialist at the District. I take it that people really don't like that because this is the 3 time i have seen it up there in the past year. But it doesn't matter i applied for it anyway. now lets see if they would even consider hiring me back due to my background there. I mean its not like I did it on purpose, and I would have apologized for it but my supervise was being an ass so I didn't even bother with it.

       Well i also decided to do my laundry, because i finally figured out what was smelling in my room. After I removed the basket it smelt better in there, not great but better witch its what counts right. I washed them twice just to make sure that all the smell was out of them, I think i got it all this time. After all that excitement I went on line  to find some music and I found a website for some but first i need to download it so thats what I am doing.

    Its still not finished but i need to leave to go to FHE. I love FHE not because of the activities but because of the social interaction. For those people that do not already know i am person in need of social interaction. Its not that I have to talk to people, in fact a lot of the time i really prefer not to talk at all, its just being around them that makes me feel good. Knowing that people want me there is all that I need. Don't believe me. watch what happens when I am left alone for a long period of time, I start to get depressed. And for those people that really know me witch are like 2 people in my entire life that really know how i am.

   Maybe its because i have a problem of bottling up all my feelings, witch is not good either, but for those people that don't know me very well here is a little secret about me. When i get depressed, I tend to have thoughts of suicide. Now before you freak out I just want to let you know that its not entirely my fault. I can't help it. My body produces a low amount of serration-en, witch if anybody knows anything about the human body that that makes people depressed without fault.

    Anyway sorry bout getting off topic, let me get back to my day. At FHE we played water kick ball witch seemed fun, but also for those people that don't know me that well I really don't like playing sports that much. I have more fun siting on the side lines then playing. It was fun, after that we went back to Stevens, and Krysta's house to finish watching the Star-Wars saga witch in-fact we started like 2 months ago. Man what has taken us so long. I guess last week didn't help any with that though. But i am glad we did it i really had fun doing it.

      When i got home i was so tired that I didn't do anything but go strait to bed. Scratch that said my prayers first then went to bed cant miss that.