Self Control

 Today I went up to donate today. And I guess I did. I almost wasn't able to, but I was good in the end. Its amazing how much you can change your body when you convince yourself there is nothing wrong with you. I mean the first time I was tested my heart rate was 115 but then when I was siting there. I just keep telling myself that there was nothing wrong, and that I had a low rate. and surprisingly when I was tested again my heart rate went all the way down to 84 now you cant tell me that that's just amazing.

  I went to F.Y.E. today, because I had a gift card there that I haven't used yet so I got some movies. Wall-E, The Tree Musketeers, and Narnia the first and third one because I already had the second one. I was going to tare are couch apart. We are throwing it away, Its to old and cruddy. So my job is to tare, or chop it apart and throw it away. But my mother doesn't want me to do it today, so I am going to do it on Monday.

  I have Priesthood meting Sunday morning. I don't know if I want to go. Its at 7AM that is way to early for me I know I should go I just don't want to get up that early. anyways I probably wont even be able to get up anyway. I haven't gotten up that early sense High School. I know I need to do better. But by my point of view for somebody that hasn't been to church sense he turned 18 for me I believe that I am doing very well. I am taking it one step at a time. 

Today needs to end.

Today has been one of those days that you wish was just over. I have had a headache all day. and for I am kinda feeling depressed to. I went to go and try and donate today. But they wouldn't let me, because my heart rate is to high again. I am just so stressed. I mean my resting heart rate is 80 so why is it always so high when I go in there. I really think its because I am stressed, and nerves. But its strange because I am not afraid of needles or anything.   It might have something to do with that I have tachycardia.  Or it might be because I have a natural high heart rate.

  I believe that tomorrow will go better in that sense anyway. It has been raining today. so I have  spent some time just listing to it. I went to F.Y.E. today and sold some of my movies. and I got some CD's from Josh Groban and Bruno Mars I like both of there music a lot and one of my favorite songs from Josh is Awake, and for Bruno I would say Grande would be my favorite one. I wasn't able to find a video for Joshes so so I have another video I would like to share with you of is that I like, It called "Hidden Away"

             And for Bruno's song I did find the one I wanted and here it is.

   This song has a lot of meaning for me and every time I hear it I can't but help of thinking of my past. :(

 Anyway I am so glade that it is raining right now. it just means that it is cool outside and I like cool weather, it has been hot the last while and now its changing into fall. I love the fall weather o yes I do. My birthday is next month to I am so conflicted on it. I know that I should be happy about it. and want to celebrate it. But honestly I really don't care to me its just another day. I don't know why I never cared much about my birthday, ever.  I know I shouldn't be that way I really do try and care, I need to care. For if I don't I know that I will have a repeat of my past. And I never, I say NEVER want to go throw that again.

  Anyway I have been so bored today. I am trying to diced on what type of job training I want to do. I was thinking about doing something in Carpentry or heavy machinery, or maybe I wouldn't mind, in fact I would enjoy doing something with park work. like a forest worker.that sort of thing. but I am still un decided I don't know witch one I want to do. But I am leaning more with Carpentry, and Forest worker then anything else.

 I did go on my bike ride last night it was good. for the last half of it my heart rate was at about 160 so that is good.

Addictions

Today the power went out at my house.for a few hours. Mainly because my grandfather was over here playing with the wires and over loaded the backers. That was the high light of my day. I didn't get around to going running this morning, because I forgot to. and when I finally remembered to it was to hot out side. I finally finished downloading the client today. And know I am not starting to get the feeling that it wasn't a good idea to do it in the first place. Last time I was started playing WoW it became a huge addiction for me. So I will see how it goes this time, if it starts to look as if it is going to head that way again I will just cut it off.

   Why is it no matter how much I eat and or when I eat I am always hunger like an hour later. It really isn't a good thing. Well back to addictions I find that if you like something so much that you do it all the time, or eat it all the time. Regarding that it is healthy for you or not. It is not a good thing. any addiction can be bad, no matter what or how much you have.  I did do my laundry today though I have been waiting to do it all week.

   I cam across a quote today that I think everybody should memorize, it goes something like this. "Live your life with somebody that makes you happy, not somebody that you have to impress."

  Just some words that should have a bigger meaning in the world today. but has no affect on it.

Thinking is Trouble

Today I mowed the lawn when I got up. and then took the car over to see if it would pass emissions, it did. But the brakes will need to be replaced before next year.  Have been waiting for this download to finish all day long but most likely it wont finish till tomorrow. I hope I start feeling better tomorrow.

 Lately I have been filling lonely. And I hate it, it is not a good thing for when I begin feeling this way I tend to do things I wouldn't have normally. And its not like its because I am feeling depressed. Its that I have been thinking to much. I find I do that a lot. And it has been nothing but trouble for me. Haven't done anything else today. Just been watching movies, and reading something that I should have finished a long time ago.

  I decided to play some halo for a while surprisingly.  Playing games doesn't exit me like it used to. I don't know why maybe its just because I am getting older. Or it could be I am just finding other stuff to occupy my time with that is more interesting to me. What ever the case is I only spend like an hour or two a day now playing. Instead of like 6 or so.

  I didn't go running last night because my knee was killing me. I mean it hurt to just stand up. So I don't think that running would have helped any, but it is starting to feel better tonight. I also wont be able to start my project till next month witch is kinda a bummer to me. I also am drinking hot chocolate right now, Yum it is so good. I love hot chocolate.  I hope that we will be able to hook the washing machine back up before Sunday. Or I will not have any church clothes. Okay I will have clothes but not the ones I want to ware. I have the all black one. And if that is the case I will have to call Joseph, because I will not be able to do the sacrament. You have to have a white shirt to pass and administrate it, so I believe you have to have on to set it up to. But I am not 100% on that. Will will come to that bride though after the the next bend. 

Help Always Comes to Those who ask for it.

I was going to mow the lawn today when I got up but I decided to do that tomorrow. Mainly because I wanted to see if I could donate today. And I was able to I guess prayers do come true. Just when you need them the most. Thanks God. for looking out for me. I know you are the one person I can always count on. :) Well I will do it tomorrow then.

  I finally talked to my father today. The last time I talked to him was on fathers day. But it was good to talk to him. I went to Jo-Ann's today and I found the pattern I want to do for my next project. Its going to be good. At least this one shouldn't take me as long as the last one did.

   I haven't done much besides that, I just have been playing some games, while I am waiting for this client to download. it is taking for ever. but I guess ill what, not by choice though. and I guess I have been looking up jobs to.  Now let me leave you with a Song that I really like. that I ran across the other day.

Pains & Tennis

Yesterday I wen to church, went to a fireside afterwards. it was a good one Elder Oaks was speaking. I liked is talk. after that was over I went over to a friends house well lots of other friends and had some scons. they were good. and I am glad that I went, because there were a lot of people there that I haven't seen in a while.

  Today I went over to GameStop to make sure that my copy of Gears was fully paid off. I also didn't sleep very good last night. For some reason I have been having stumic cramps all night. and I have had them all morning too. But a good thing is that they are starting to go away. I have also been watching the Us Open today. Watching the game all I have to say is what a great game. Like the one on Saturday this game has been so close the entire time.

  Even though it has been close. Both of them haven't been playing at there best . They have been having so many problems, to many faults from both of them. And there serving hasn't been that good. But all in all it was a good game.

   After I that was over I went to FHE, it was fun we played softball, volleyball, frisby, and soccer. Well they did I just watched, because I find that more fun really. After that A few of my friends, and myself all went over to a friends house and watched G.I.Joe it was good I really like that move. Even though I cant but help find all the flaws in it. I mean for once I would like them to make a movie that is really listic without all the hollywood theatricals. but thats just me.

 Now that I am home again. I am going to go exercise, and then go to bed. Yah for sleep. I just hope that I will be able to sleep better tonight then I did last night.