Today needs to end.

Today has been one of those days that you wish was just over. I have had a headache all day. and for I am kinda feeling depressed to. I went to go and try and donate today. But they wouldn't let me, because my heart rate is to high again. I am just so stressed. I mean my resting heart rate is 80 so why is it always so high when I go in there. I really think its because I am stressed, and nerves. But its strange because I am not afraid of needles or anything.   It might have something to do with that I have tachycardia.  Or it might be because I have a natural high heart rate.

  I believe that tomorrow will go better in that sense anyway. It has been raining today. so I have  spent some time just listing to it. I went to F.Y.E. today and sold some of my movies. and I got some CD's from Josh Groban and Bruno Mars I like both of there music a lot and one of my favorite songs from Josh is Awake, and for Bruno I would say Grande would be my favorite one. I wasn't able to find a video for Joshes so so I have another video I would like to share with you of is that I like, It called "Hidden Away"

             And for Bruno's song I did find the one I wanted and here it is.

   This song has a lot of meaning for me and every time I hear it I can't but help of thinking of my past. :(

 Anyway I am so glade that it is raining right now. it just means that it is cool outside and I like cool weather, it has been hot the last while and now its changing into fall. I love the fall weather o yes I do. My birthday is next month to I am so conflicted on it. I know that I should be happy about it. and want to celebrate it. But honestly I really don't care to me its just another day. I don't know why I never cared much about my birthday, ever.  I know I shouldn't be that way I really do try and care, I need to care. For if I don't I know that I will have a repeat of my past. And I never, I say NEVER want to go throw that again.

  Anyway I have been so bored today. I am trying to diced on what type of job training I want to do. I was thinking about doing something in Carpentry or heavy machinery, or maybe I wouldn't mind, in fact I would enjoy doing something with park work. like a forest worker.that sort of thing. but I am still un decided I don't know witch one I want to do. But I am leaning more with Carpentry, and Forest worker then anything else.

 I did go on my bike ride last night it was good. for the last half of it my heart rate was at about 160 so that is good.