I Think i wanna cry

7/6/2011 9:45pm
  
   Well today. i have been ok, i started off by going over to my grandpas house to mow his lawn, after that i came back home and played around on the computer for a will, i got a letter in the mail today from Work force Services, asking me if i would like to apply for social Security witch i can, because what most people don't realize is that i am not just physically handy-caped, but i am mainly as well and if your wondering what i may have its called Hemiplegia due to Subarchnoid bleeding in my right Equinus witch means that all of my motor skills are under developed.

So it made me think about all the stuff that i wish i could do that i cant, and don't tell me that i can if i try hard enough, i know i can't because i have almost killed myself trying to do some of it. well after i cried for a little will i decided to work out to take my mind of of things for a bite. it worked but like all things with me it never lasts. anyway maybe about an hour ago i was reading some of Krysta's blogs, because i told her i would, bad idea. but i have to thank god that there is somebody else out there, that knows exactly what i am going throw. i just wish that she will understand. i was reading some of the conversations that she was having with John, i am sorry Krysta for that. it took me for ever to read it because i keep almost crying. not just for her but for myself as well, during the reading of this i kept thinking about M.J. witch i really wish that i hadn't i have been trying for the past 3 years to forget about her. and now all the memories came rushing back. I think i am going to go cry for a will now i hope it will make me feel better.