Dec 27, 2011
Christmas
This year for Christmas we didn't do as much as we normally do due to that nobody really has any money to do anything. But even so it was very good. On Christmas Ev I went over to my grandpa's house and had a family dinner, It went good this year based on the fact that almost everybody was there. Tensions with in the family seem to be subsiding, witch is good. For last year it was somewhat uncomfortable to be there. Never the less it was good. We played games afterward, and got some great pics I will upload some once I got them. But until then you will just have to what. I was hoping that my sister would have come down for this year. But she is still to afraid of what we will think of her sense she has fallen away from the church. In my mind it doesn't matter what she has done for thus I still love her. Christmas day I opened my presents around 1pm I know what your thinking that's late. Well if I had it my way I wouldn't have opened them till about 8pm or so. Because presents to really hold much for me as they use to. And also I wasn't expecting anything ether. Went over to my grandmothers around 5 after talking to my brother at 4 for about a half and hour. He is on his mission right now in Argentina and gets bat in October. But you cant have fun without work. I had to clean my computer out and my mothers to. For I haven't done it in a while and let me tell you when your graphics card is gray when its normally dark green, its time to clean it. And its running like a beast now. :)
Dec 7, 2011
My long week
Monday
It started off with my grandfather coming over to pretty much tare all the shelving out of are bathroom. I haven't done much all day. I have been watching nova a lot of the time. I was trying to get hold of a friend all day to. But when I finally got a hold of them it mad me kinda depressed. I mean I have known her for about 6 years, I hate it when someone pretends to be your friend but they really are not. But what really hurts is when you love someone, but they don't love you back. I mean it is really hard for me to find someone when nobody seems to wanna even give me the opportunity to show them how much I care for them. But it even worse when I find that person that will allow me to show them, they never seem to care. After dating as many people I have you begin to wounder if there is something wrong with you sense nobody seems to want to be around you.
Anyways that night I went to FHE we were making Gingerbread Houses. I didn't do any, for about the first half hour I was there I was just siting in the chapel thinking/praying. It really felt good to talk to somebody I know will listen to me and actually care about what I am going though. But I went in to watch others make them. I know it is not good to be alone mainly right know. Because I am gating back to the point to were I am starting to get thoughts of suicide again. I wish people understand. The problem is there is nobody that knows what I am going through. I went over to a friends house afterwards to watch a movie.
Tuesday
I went and donated today. It went well no complications at all. I have been watching the Avatar shows the animated version. I have been doing that most of the day. but I had my appointment with my bishop today to. I am finally going to be mad an elder I am so happy for that sense I should have been mad one 4 and a half years ago about. But it is talking me longer to get control of some of my problems. And even though I still have a major problem with some of them. I am making great progress with it. I am so happy about it. Yeah It has only taken me 10 years to get control of it. For those of you that had not quit an addiction to something before. It is so hard to quit it. and even harder when your doing it cold turkey. Let me tell you the longer you go the more and more you think about it. There are times where that is all that is on my mind.
Wednesday
Before I start off telling you about my day I wanted to share with you a music video. Its called The Christmas Rush, and I love this song for two reasons. One its from Mike Tompkins he is a great singer/artist. For those of you that don't know who he is I seriously recommend that you go check him out. And reason Two for me liking this song is that it reminds us the Christmas is not about giving gifts.
Thursday
Lets see today I finally was able to take out the trash I have kept forgetting to do it for a while know sense I was supposed to do it on Monday. Well I guess it doesn't really matter when I do it just as long as I do it, right. I also finally found are punching bag I have been looking for it for months. I originally thought that my sister took it with her to Washington, but I found it today in. I am so happy about it. Now I can get bloody knuckles all over again. I went over to Joseph's house to help him set up his tree. After we did that I went to Institute with him, I found it kinda fun sense I have never been before. But on the way out of his driveway he ran into my car lol. Its ok though because it really didn't do that much damage all I have to do is bend the door back out with a hammer. And put the tire back on, sense I was parked up against the curb when he hit me it pushed the tire off the rime so I get to put it back on now. When we got back we ended up watching a movie. And one of jo's friends came over to watch it with us. What a day I say, but it was still fun.
Friday
I didn't really do anything important enough today to report it.
Saturday
I fixed the tire to the car, just as I thought I just had to pump it up. It didn't have a leak in it. That is good, and as far as I can tell nothing is wrong with it. Time will tell on if there is or isn't though. I went to go see Rise of Planet of the Apes, its a good show. But I still think the older Planet of the Apes are better.
It started off with my grandfather coming over to pretty much tare all the shelving out of are bathroom. I haven't done much all day. I have been watching nova a lot of the time. I was trying to get hold of a friend all day to. But when I finally got a hold of them it mad me kinda depressed. I mean I have known her for about 6 years, I hate it when someone pretends to be your friend but they really are not. But what really hurts is when you love someone, but they don't love you back. I mean it is really hard for me to find someone when nobody seems to wanna even give me the opportunity to show them how much I care for them. But it even worse when I find that person that will allow me to show them, they never seem to care. After dating as many people I have you begin to wounder if there is something wrong with you sense nobody seems to want to be around you.
Anyways that night I went to FHE we were making Gingerbread Houses. I didn't do any, for about the first half hour I was there I was just siting in the chapel thinking/praying. It really felt good to talk to somebody I know will listen to me and actually care about what I am going though. But I went in to watch others make them. I know it is not good to be alone mainly right know. Because I am gating back to the point to were I am starting to get thoughts of suicide again. I wish people understand. The problem is there is nobody that knows what I am going through. I went over to a friends house afterwards to watch a movie.
Tuesday
I went and donated today. It went well no complications at all. I have been watching the Avatar shows the animated version. I have been doing that most of the day. but I had my appointment with my bishop today to. I am finally going to be mad an elder I am so happy for that sense I should have been mad one 4 and a half years ago about. But it is talking me longer to get control of some of my problems. And even though I still have a major problem with some of them. I am making great progress with it. I am so happy about it. Yeah It has only taken me 10 years to get control of it. For those of you that had not quit an addiction to something before. It is so hard to quit it. and even harder when your doing it cold turkey. Let me tell you the longer you go the more and more you think about it. There are times where that is all that is on my mind.
Wednesday
Before I start off telling you about my day I wanted to share with you a music video. Its called The Christmas Rush, and I love this song for two reasons. One its from Mike Tompkins he is a great singer/artist. For those of you that don't know who he is I seriously recommend that you go check him out. And reason Two for me liking this song is that it reminds us the Christmas is not about giving gifts.
Thursday
Lets see today I finally was able to take out the trash I have kept forgetting to do it for a while know sense I was supposed to do it on Monday. Well I guess it doesn't really matter when I do it just as long as I do it, right. I also finally found are punching bag I have been looking for it for months. I originally thought that my sister took it with her to Washington, but I found it today in. I am so happy about it. Now I can get bloody knuckles all over again. I went over to Joseph's house to help him set up his tree. After we did that I went to Institute with him, I found it kinda fun sense I have never been before. But on the way out of his driveway he ran into my car lol. Its ok though because it really didn't do that much damage all I have to do is bend the door back out with a hammer. And put the tire back on, sense I was parked up against the curb when he hit me it pushed the tire off the rime so I get to put it back on now. When we got back we ended up watching a movie. And one of jo's friends came over to watch it with us. What a day I say, but it was still fun.
Friday
I didn't really do anything important enough today to report it.
Saturday
I fixed the tire to the car, just as I thought I just had to pump it up. It didn't have a leak in it. That is good, and as far as I can tell nothing is wrong with it. Time will tell on if there is or isn't though. I went to go see Rise of Planet of the Apes, its a good show. But I still think the older Planet of the Apes are better.
Nov 30, 2011
A Jumbled Week
Ok this week has been interesting Monday at FHE we had a get to know you session pretty much. I didn't really think that it was that fun, for I really don't like being around a lot of people if I don't have to be. After wards we went to a fire activity, don't worry we didn't start anything on fire, "except that tree we burnt." I would have rather have done a movie night like we normally do, If we do the fire thing again I might not go I really didn't have that much fun there. I am really not that outgoing, I prefer to just do something with not that many people. Like watching a movie. Or playing some games. But depending on the game I am strange in that way.
I went to go donate plasma on Tuesday morning but I wasn't able to because my Iron was to low. I was shocked because that has never happened before. I didn't do much the rest of the day. I played some more of Assassins creed, I think I am a little more then half way right now. I really cant say how much I have left for I have never played it before. Honestly I think I may be about 3/4 of the way done, maybe.
This morning "As Wednesday" I finally finished Assassins Creed Revelations. And the thing is as much as I am glad to be done with it, I don't want to be done with it. For they ended the story in a spot that really leaves you hanging, and want to continue playing. I watched the short film that came with the game and now I wish I hadn't because it makes it worse and I want to play even more. I really want STOR, just so you know that stands for Starwars The Old Republic. So sum up what its somewhat its about, It takes place thousands of years before the new republic, so you know the new republic is with Yoda, and Anakin, and Qui-Gon, you know those people. The old Republic takes place back when the sith empire was still flourishing, and Koraban is the home of the sith. to help me explain this here is a video that explains the entire thing. it is a long video, but it describes the hole story from the beginning. To watch click here.
I did my laundry on Thursday witch it didn't take my very long to do that. It has been smelly at my house today, and noise due to that we are replacing some of the old piping in are bathroom. So as you would figure out once you open up those pips its going to smell like shit. I mean we all wish it was flowers and chocolate. But I guess we cant have everything we want or else are time apon this earth would be pointless. Sense we are all here to lurn, so what good is that if its all done for us.
I went to a dance on Friday, It was fun I got kinda bored though about 9 O'clock so I was thinking about leaving , but then with fate decides to intervene with my life I say sure, do it it's for my own good I know it. I found a friend that I haven't seen in years witch was good. So we ended up talking till they kicked us out of the building. I think that's kinda funny really. I hope to have a date with her next week. We will see how that goes. I pray it goes good. And that she will give me a second opportunity for I don't have to many of those for we all know.
I went to a Christmas party that Kimberlee was throwing, it was pretty fun. Well I had a good time, we played some games and watched a movie. We watched Stardust I love this movie. I think its moving, there was food there. I think that it was also interesting sense with how long I have known her, I have never been to her house before.
I went to go donate plasma on Tuesday morning but I wasn't able to because my Iron was to low. I was shocked because that has never happened before. I didn't do much the rest of the day. I played some more of Assassins creed, I think I am a little more then half way right now. I really cant say how much I have left for I have never played it before. Honestly I think I may be about 3/4 of the way done, maybe.
This morning "As Wednesday" I finally finished Assassins Creed Revelations. And the thing is as much as I am glad to be done with it, I don't want to be done with it. For they ended the story in a spot that really leaves you hanging, and want to continue playing. I watched the short film that came with the game and now I wish I hadn't because it makes it worse and I want to play even more. I really want STOR, just so you know that stands for Starwars The Old Republic. So sum up what its somewhat its about, It takes place thousands of years before the new republic, so you know the new republic is with Yoda, and Anakin, and Qui-Gon, you know those people. The old Republic takes place back when the sith empire was still flourishing, and Koraban is the home of the sith. to help me explain this here is a video that explains the entire thing. it is a long video, but it describes the hole story from the beginning. To watch click here.
I did my laundry on Thursday witch it didn't take my very long to do that. It has been smelly at my house today, and noise due to that we are replacing some of the old piping in are bathroom. So as you would figure out once you open up those pips its going to smell like shit. I mean we all wish it was flowers and chocolate. But I guess we cant have everything we want or else are time apon this earth would be pointless. Sense we are all here to lurn, so what good is that if its all done for us.
I went to a dance on Friday, It was fun I got kinda bored though about 9 O'clock so I was thinking about leaving , but then with fate decides to intervene with my life I say sure, do it it's for my own good I know it. I found a friend that I haven't seen in years witch was good. So we ended up talking till they kicked us out of the building. I think that's kinda funny really. I hope to have a date with her next week. We will see how that goes. I pray it goes good. And that she will give me a second opportunity for I don't have to many of those for we all know.
I went to a Christmas party that Kimberlee was throwing, it was pretty fun. Well I had a good time, we played some games and watched a movie. We watched Stardust I love this movie. I think its moving, there was food there. I think that it was also interesting sense with how long I have known her, I have never been to her house before.
Nov 22, 2011
Week of fun and Torment
Monday
Started off by me doing nothing. I called my father, sense it was his birthday. He is now 52 years old. I cant believe that he is that old. But I learned some good news while I was talking to him. he should have his patent in the next couple of week witch means he will be able to start max production. He should be able to get about 10,000 by the end of the year. witch would be good for him.
And it is official now to I am now a have reached the boyfriend stage in my relationship. I am so exited about it. I'm not just exited about having a girlfriend, but also to have a really good friend. That I know cares about me. I am also glad for I know that it will help my depression to. Just being able to talk to somebody helps with that. I know sense I am usually the one that everybody comes and talks to. I went to FHE also we were doing trivia games, I suck at trivia games. Special sense it is church trivia, somethings strange about that is I undoubtedly believe in everything that are church stands for. Witch is kinda funny because if you asked me any serious questions about it I most likely would not be able to answer it. I know I know what I am talking about, I just seem to have a selected memory or something. Because I only seem to remember what seems interesting to me. And that is just it the history of the church just isn't that interesting to me.
Tuesday
When I first got up this morning I went and donated plasma, Note: it is getting easier to control my heart rate I am able to lower it quicker now. I think that its because I am exercising much more now, but I also think that I pray for help with it more and more. Witch I think that It helps a lot. I started watching Starwars again. And during it I layed down for a nap but I forgot what time it was. I forgot I had to go pick Amber up Ops my bad so I was a little late. But its all good. when I got home I eat dinner witch we had tacos I love tacos.
Wednesday
Today I went to the planetarium, it was fun I haven't been there. But before we went down there we went to the post office. and after that we went to Walgreen's, Rid-Aid, and a pet store witch I cant remember the name of at this moment. When we got to the planetarium we got the tickets for the show The Ultimate Universe, witch was good. And it was kinda funny because the movie was old, because all the questions that were in it. have been answered by Nova a few months ago. But after we got the tickets we went to Barns and Nobel to look around. I always find it interesting to see the stuff that they have in there.
Note to self too I am now not at the boyfriend stage anymore. Witch in result of it I am now depressed again. But its really my own fault, I allowed myself to get attached to somebody. Its not my fault that I cat attached to them really easy. So it turns out that I really like somebody when they only sorta like me. I think that my problem is that I am to much of an affectionate person. I leave my self open to be hurt. And felled with disappointment, more then they do. And it doesn't help that every time that I go out with somebody It just makes it worse. Maybe its just my desire to feel wanted, or loved. Or that I know that somebody wants me around. I think that is what I really want. more then anything. I think that one of the main reasons why I feel depressed a lot of the time. Because I feel lonely and ignored. I really hope that it doesn't last for long. for last time I was really depressed it didn't turn out very well.
I went over to my grandma's and helped her for a little bit, doing things around the house for her. After that I went over to my dads. We watched a show called the Sentinel it was really good, and I spent the night there.
Thursday
The reason why I spent the night at my dads was because we got up early and went rabbit hunting. It was fun we saw 5 but only got three. Sneaky blighters got away, we rowed the ATV's for a while and then it was time to go. So we drove home and my dad dropped me off at my grandpa's house to eat dinner. Not everybody was there this year, normally there is about 40 of us. but this year there was only maybe 20 some people decided not to come. now that I am home I am ready for bed. Note I really was hesitating on if I was even going to go. Because I am still kinda depressed and I really just wanted to be a lone. I didn't want to answer any of there questions. and now I do kinda wish I didn't go. Like I was right they all asked questions, and I really don't want to talk to anybody. So I did what most people do in that situation they lie to make people stop talking to them. I know I shouldn't have done that. But I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody. So I am sorry everybody.
I found a quote today that I really liked, and it apply's to what I have been talking about this week. "To Love someone is Nothing, To be Loved by someone is Something, But to be Loved by the one that you Love is Everything.
I love this quote It reminds me of what I am working for.
Friday
Today this morning I went up to Bountiful to get some new ties. And let me tell you the drive is totally worth it. I went to the store for some rolls for dinner. And I also got my self some chocolate too. I have been looking at pitchers a lot on Pinterest a lot I think that I have become addicted to it. I been exercising a little bit today to. Latter Joseph came over and we were going to finish watching Starwars The Return of the Jedi. But it ended up him watching me play Assassins Creed for a few hours, sense he hasn't really seen anybody play the brotherhood one.
Saturday
Today when I got up I watched some game play for the new Starwars MMO it is looking pretty good right now. They are still in the beta stag I believe right now for it. I went and got Revelations today for Assassins creed, I have been playing that most of the day, its been relaxing.
Started off by me doing nothing. I called my father, sense it was his birthday. He is now 52 years old. I cant believe that he is that old. But I learned some good news while I was talking to him. he should have his patent in the next couple of week witch means he will be able to start max production. He should be able to get about 10,000 by the end of the year. witch would be good for him.
And it is official now to I am now a have reached the boyfriend stage in my relationship. I am so exited about it. I'm not just exited about having a girlfriend, but also to have a really good friend. That I know cares about me. I am also glad for I know that it will help my depression to. Just being able to talk to somebody helps with that. I know sense I am usually the one that everybody comes and talks to. I went to FHE also we were doing trivia games, I suck at trivia games. Special sense it is church trivia, somethings strange about that is I undoubtedly believe in everything that are church stands for. Witch is kinda funny because if you asked me any serious questions about it I most likely would not be able to answer it. I know I know what I am talking about, I just seem to have a selected memory or something. Because I only seem to remember what seems interesting to me. And that is just it the history of the church just isn't that interesting to me.
Tuesday
When I first got up this morning I went and donated plasma, Note: it is getting easier to control my heart rate I am able to lower it quicker now. I think that its because I am exercising much more now, but I also think that I pray for help with it more and more. Witch I think that It helps a lot. I started watching Starwars again. And during it I layed down for a nap but I forgot what time it was. I forgot I had to go pick Amber up Ops my bad so I was a little late. But its all good. when I got home I eat dinner witch we had tacos I love tacos.
Wednesday
Today I went to the planetarium, it was fun I haven't been there. But before we went down there we went to the post office. and after that we went to Walgreen's, Rid-Aid, and a pet store witch I cant remember the name of at this moment. When we got to the planetarium we got the tickets for the show The Ultimate Universe, witch was good. And it was kinda funny because the movie was old, because all the questions that were in it. have been answered by Nova a few months ago. But after we got the tickets we went to Barns and Nobel to look around. I always find it interesting to see the stuff that they have in there.
Note to self too I am now not at the boyfriend stage anymore. Witch in result of it I am now depressed again. But its really my own fault, I allowed myself to get attached to somebody. Its not my fault that I cat attached to them really easy. So it turns out that I really like somebody when they only sorta like me. I think that my problem is that I am to much of an affectionate person. I leave my self open to be hurt. And felled with disappointment, more then they do. And it doesn't help that every time that I go out with somebody It just makes it worse. Maybe its just my desire to feel wanted, or loved. Or that I know that somebody wants me around. I think that is what I really want. more then anything. I think that one of the main reasons why I feel depressed a lot of the time. Because I feel lonely and ignored. I really hope that it doesn't last for long. for last time I was really depressed it didn't turn out very well.
I went over to my grandma's and helped her for a little bit, doing things around the house for her. After that I went over to my dads. We watched a show called the Sentinel it was really good, and I spent the night there.
Thursday
The reason why I spent the night at my dads was because we got up early and went rabbit hunting. It was fun we saw 5 but only got three. Sneaky blighters got away, we rowed the ATV's for a while and then it was time to go. So we drove home and my dad dropped me off at my grandpa's house to eat dinner. Not everybody was there this year, normally there is about 40 of us. but this year there was only maybe 20 some people decided not to come. now that I am home I am ready for bed. Note I really was hesitating on if I was even going to go. Because I am still kinda depressed and I really just wanted to be a lone. I didn't want to answer any of there questions. and now I do kinda wish I didn't go. Like I was right they all asked questions, and I really don't want to talk to anybody. So I did what most people do in that situation they lie to make people stop talking to them. I know I shouldn't have done that. But I really wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody. So I am sorry everybody.
I found a quote today that I really liked, and it apply's to what I have been talking about this week. "To Love someone is Nothing, To be Loved by someone is Something, But to be Loved by the one that you Love is Everything.
I love this quote It reminds me of what I am working for.
Friday
Today this morning I went up to Bountiful to get some new ties. And let me tell you the drive is totally worth it. I went to the store for some rolls for dinner. And I also got my self some chocolate too. I have been looking at pitchers a lot on Pinterest a lot I think that I have become addicted to it. I been exercising a little bit today to. Latter Joseph came over and we were going to finish watching Starwars The Return of the Jedi. But it ended up him watching me play Assassins Creed for a few hours, sense he hasn't really seen anybody play the brotherhood one.
Saturday
Today when I got up I watched some game play for the new Starwars MMO it is looking pretty good right now. They are still in the beta stag I believe right now for it. I went and got Revelations today for Assassins creed, I have been playing that most of the day, its been relaxing.
Nov 17, 2011
Reason woth Understanding.
Thursday
So I just learned some random information today. Ready for this. Just 3% of Activition is worth approximately 327 million dollars. I have been kinda stressed out today, because One I hope I am able to make the first payment to the IRS I have to pay it by the 28th of this month. But after that payment I should be okay for the rest of them. My dad called me earlier today wondering if I wanted to go rabbit hunting with him tomorrow. But I really don't want to dew to that I am feeling kinda depressed and I know If I went I wouldn't be able to focuses anyway for I would be thinking about to many things. Next week I am going over to the SSN building here in the valley to see if I can get a copy of the file for disability I hope that they give it to me. I am going to apile the results that they gave me and still see If I can get on the disability.
I have been playing Assassins Creed again I am wanting to play the story again before I play the next one, but It has come out yesterday so so much for the Midnight release. Its ok though. I will just have to get one latter when I don't have so much going on and I am able to save some money for it. I have received some news today that my application for Medicaid has just started. its processes into the system. I have been so tired the past couple of day. Scratch that I have been so tired the past couple of years. And I don't know why that is. it might bee my bed but I don't really know because I used to sleep good on it. but know I can't I thought it was to soft. But now I think it is just to hard. It is so hard to find something that allows me to sleep so nice, with out waking up every couple of hours to roll over. I think that I has something to do with my shoulders to because when I do wake up its always my shoulders that are hurting, normally anyway. Every so often though my back will be hurting. And I think it really has something to do with the accident that I was in a few years ago. In witch I dislocated both my shoulders, and some of my ribs. And they never set healed properly so now I have circulation cut off to my arms every now and then. And it pinches all the nerves as well.
Friday
I think that I am starting to get getter control of my heart rate because when I went to do plasma today it was down to 78. I think that it is good, biking almost everyday is probably helping a little bit though. After I was done with the donation I went to Walmart. I needed to get a shirt for my project. I am making another pitcher for this shirt, and it is going to be great. But something happened when I went to print the pitcher out though I accidentally had the pitcher stretched just a little to much. I new I was forgeting something, I forgot to do a test run. Its to late now, and I am all out of Transfer paper now. :( and I wont be able to go get any till late next week most likely.
On my way home from Walmart I went up to Valley Fair mall to try and find the SSN building but I couldn't find it so I guess Ill have to go next week. It was kinda strange today because I was gone from 9 this morning till 3pm I haven't been gone that long sense I had work. I really need to update my Journal. No not this one my audio log. its my more personal journal and I haven't used it in about a month I should update it before I forget about it again. I have lost some more weight witch is good spending all that time on the bike is starting to help. And I have been trying to cut back on how much I eat even though I only eat about 2 times a day. I am trying to cut back on the amount that I eat during those times to see if it will help me loose more.
Saturday
Ok I am starting to get irritated and its only morning right now. Because I have been trying to find this one website that has all the episodes to all my favorite anime shows, and I cant find it. I don't remember the name to it, and the person that gave me the site in the first place. Well I cant remember there name either.
I haven't done much today besides clean the kitchen, take the garbage out, witch most people wouldn't be that big of a deal but sense I have to take it about a quoter a mile up the road every week, it kinda is a deal with me. I also did some laundry today. But besides that I haven't done much I just been playing some Assassins Creed, no not the new one I haven't got that yet. This is how lazy I have been today. I didn't even take a shower till 4pm. Tomorrow should be different though with church going on. Next week I hope I will be able to get the documents I need from SSN. If not it will be fun trying to get them from the offices that I had the testing done in. I weighed my self this morning and I am getting better. I lost 24 pounds this month . I went over to Steven's house at about 9 to watch movie. I stayed latter then I was planing on, for Krysta asked me if I wanted to stay and watch Stargate SG1 with here. And I looked at an opportunity to spend time with her. So we watched. 2 episodes. I don't regret staying. But I think that her father may be a little upset with me. For it was 2:30 when I finally left.
P.S. Not to all those that actually read my blogs/Journal I have decided that it is easier to do one posting for the whole week, then trying to remember to write one very day. So for now one I will only be doing one once a week.
So I just learned some random information today. Ready for this. Just 3% of Activition is worth approximately 327 million dollars. I have been kinda stressed out today, because One I hope I am able to make the first payment to the IRS I have to pay it by the 28th of this month. But after that payment I should be okay for the rest of them. My dad called me earlier today wondering if I wanted to go rabbit hunting with him tomorrow. But I really don't want to dew to that I am feeling kinda depressed and I know If I went I wouldn't be able to focuses anyway for I would be thinking about to many things. Next week I am going over to the SSN building here in the valley to see if I can get a copy of the file for disability I hope that they give it to me. I am going to apile the results that they gave me and still see If I can get on the disability.
I have been playing Assassins Creed again I am wanting to play the story again before I play the next one, but It has come out yesterday so so much for the Midnight release. Its ok though. I will just have to get one latter when I don't have so much going on and I am able to save some money for it. I have received some news today that my application for Medicaid has just started. its processes into the system. I have been so tired the past couple of day. Scratch that I have been so tired the past couple of years. And I don't know why that is. it might bee my bed but I don't really know because I used to sleep good on it. but know I can't I thought it was to soft. But now I think it is just to hard. It is so hard to find something that allows me to sleep so nice, with out waking up every couple of hours to roll over. I think that I has something to do with my shoulders to because when I do wake up its always my shoulders that are hurting, normally anyway. Every so often though my back will be hurting. And I think it really has something to do with the accident that I was in a few years ago. In witch I dislocated both my shoulders, and some of my ribs. And they never set healed properly so now I have circulation cut off to my arms every now and then. And it pinches all the nerves as well.
Friday
I think that I am starting to get getter control of my heart rate because when I went to do plasma today it was down to 78. I think that it is good, biking almost everyday is probably helping a little bit though. After I was done with the donation I went to Walmart. I needed to get a shirt for my project. I am making another pitcher for this shirt, and it is going to be great. But something happened when I went to print the pitcher out though I accidentally had the pitcher stretched just a little to much. I new I was forgeting something, I forgot to do a test run. Its to late now, and I am all out of Transfer paper now. :( and I wont be able to go get any till late next week most likely.
On my way home from Walmart I went up to Valley Fair mall to try and find the SSN building but I couldn't find it so I guess Ill have to go next week. It was kinda strange today because I was gone from 9 this morning till 3pm I haven't been gone that long sense I had work. I really need to update my Journal. No not this one my audio log. its my more personal journal and I haven't used it in about a month I should update it before I forget about it again. I have lost some more weight witch is good spending all that time on the bike is starting to help. And I have been trying to cut back on how much I eat even though I only eat about 2 times a day. I am trying to cut back on the amount that I eat during those times to see if it will help me loose more.
Saturday
Ok I am starting to get irritated and its only morning right now. Because I have been trying to find this one website that has all the episodes to all my favorite anime shows, and I cant find it. I don't remember the name to it, and the person that gave me the site in the first place. Well I cant remember there name either.
I haven't done much today besides clean the kitchen, take the garbage out, witch most people wouldn't be that big of a deal but sense I have to take it about a quoter a mile up the road every week, it kinda is a deal with me. I also did some laundry today. But besides that I haven't done much I just been playing some Assassins Creed, no not the new one I haven't got that yet. This is how lazy I have been today. I didn't even take a shower till 4pm. Tomorrow should be different though with church going on. Next week I hope I will be able to get the documents I need from SSN. If not it will be fun trying to get them from the offices that I had the testing done in. I weighed my self this morning and I am getting better. I lost 24 pounds this month . I went over to Steven's house at about 9 to watch movie. I stayed latter then I was planing on, for Krysta asked me if I wanted to stay and watch Stargate SG1 with here. And I looked at an opportunity to spend time with her. So we watched. 2 episodes. I don't regret staying. But I think that her father may be a little upset with me. For it was 2:30 when I finally left.
P.S. Not to all those that actually read my blogs/Journal I have decided that it is easier to do one posting for the whole week, then trying to remember to write one very day. So for now one I will only be doing one once a week.
Nov 16, 2011
A Post At Last
I know its been almost a week sense I have posted on here I just what for something interesting enough to post. Today after a few hours I finally was able to get a hold of SSN, but I finally got throw. They didn't help me very much though so next week I have to go over to the office here and try and talk to them there. Tonight I went over to a friends house and watched The Mission it was an ok show. I was surprised on some of the actors that were in it. I would tell you how was in it. But right now I am just feeling lazy and don't want to look it up. So you can if your feeling up to it. Tomorrow though I have to call the IRS and see if they will allow me to set up a payment plane yet. I hope they will because I don't want to deal with them anymore. For some reason my mouth has been sore all day. I think I cut it but I don't really know why. Also my mother is going to be gone mostly for the next week. and I don't like it. Here is why, because sense I am trying to quit my addition it makes it really hard when nobody is around to talk to when I start feeling erges.
Nov 12, 2011
Bad dreams
This song that is posted above is I would say is in my top three for most favorite songs. Even though this song is really depressing, I find it well I cant describe how it makes me feel. All I can say is I just get really relaxed and it makes me feel like I wanna cry, but in a good way. I can just listen to this song over and over again. But I don't know if I should just stop listing to this song because how much it reminds me of what I use to have and lost. But it is also good for it reminds me of what I want. Its sorta motivating. See what I mean in the time that it has taken me to write this so fare I have already listened to it 3 times
Today I haven't done much I went and got a hair cut, I think that I cut it just a little bit to short. I also went over and picked up all the cans from my grandfathers, I am collecting them so I can turn them in when I have a lot to get more out of them. The only other thing that I have done today is I am about half way done with the campaign on C&C II. But now that it is getting latter I am thinking about going to bed in like an hour. Speaking of going to bed I had a nightmare last night It was really bad because when I woke up I really didn't want to go back to sleep.. Witch is strange for me because I haven't had a bad dream that scared me sense I was little. This one was bad because I was being eaten alive, and it kinda scared me. So I layed in bed for and hour trying to think of happy thoughts and hoping when I fell back asleep that I wouldn't dream of it again.
Nov 11, 2011
Found the problem
The past few days have been kinda stressful, but productive
Tuesday I had my appointment with my counselor on seeing if I can start school or find work. I still haven't decided on what I want to do. I mean I want to start school but I really need to find work for I am starting to get so irritated having no money to do stuff. especial sense I really need it more then ever right now. Later that night I went to a movie with Krysta, and Kimberlee. We were going to go on Wednesday but we had to change the plans for that. We went to see The Three Musketeers, the new one. By my opinion it was good, but it wasn't as good as the Disney version.
Wednesday I talked with the IRS but I couldn't set up a payment plan yet. I wont be able to do that till next week. That was pretty much all I did that day.
Thursday I didn't do much. I was just listing to music most of the day and Let me share with you one that I was listing to that I really like. Its Someday from Nickelback
Friday I went and did plasma this morning. On my way home I stopped at FYE and got some movies, and another CD from Josh Groban. I think all I am missing now is one of his CD's I was also listaning to another song today that I really like its called Start Waring Purple from GoGal Bodellos. I don't know why I like this song so much but it might be because I just love the color purple.
After that I went over to Josephs house to watch a movie. The movie was 7years in tabet, it was ok I guess I didn't stay for the whole thing though, because I was falling asleep. It might have something to do with that I haven't been sleeping very well this week. And I just figured out why. Apparently my arms tend to cut of all the circulation every now and then that is why my hands are cold most of the time. but I cant sleep because a few years ago I was in a car crash and my shoulders got dislocated. But they didn't heal properly so it hurts to sleep on them for a long time.
Tuesday I had my appointment with my counselor on seeing if I can start school or find work. I still haven't decided on what I want to do. I mean I want to start school but I really need to find work for I am starting to get so irritated having no money to do stuff. especial sense I really need it more then ever right now. Later that night I went to a movie with Krysta, and Kimberlee. We were going to go on Wednesday but we had to change the plans for that. We went to see The Three Musketeers, the new one. By my opinion it was good, but it wasn't as good as the Disney version.
Wednesday I talked with the IRS but I couldn't set up a payment plan yet. I wont be able to do that till next week. That was pretty much all I did that day.
Thursday I didn't do much. I was just listing to music most of the day and Let me share with you one that I was listing to that I really like. Its Someday from Nickelback
Friday I went and did plasma this morning. On my way home I stopped at FYE and got some movies, and another CD from Josh Groban. I think all I am missing now is one of his CD's I was also listaning to another song today that I really like its called Start Waring Purple from GoGal Bodellos. I don't know why I like this song so much but it might be because I just love the color purple.
After that I went over to Josephs house to watch a movie. The movie was 7years in tabet, it was ok I guess I didn't stay for the whole thing though, because I was falling asleep. It might have something to do with that I haven't been sleeping very well this week. And I just figured out why. Apparently my arms tend to cut of all the circulation every now and then that is why my hands are cold most of the time. but I cant sleep because a few years ago I was in a car crash and my shoulders got dislocated. But they didn't heal properly so it hurts to sleep on them for a long time.
Nov 7, 2011
Monday
Today was a normal day by starting off with breakfast. What did I eat breakfast. lol I cant remember if I did. All well, today started off as normal, me not remembering anything and trying to focus as I try and wake up. It has been kinda bad I have been going to bed to early by my standards I normally go to bed around midnight. But lately I have been going to bed at 10:30 or 11:00 witch has kinds screwed up my sleeping pattern.
My stress level has been fluctuating the past couple of days though. I don't know why though because I don't have anything to be stressed about. Well I guess I do, finding work is the only thing that I can think about right know that would cause me stress.
I have been working out on the exercise bike today for a while to try and boost my heart strength, and also because I need to lose some wight as well. I think that I need to tighten the tension on the bike though because I was on there for 15 min and my heat rate never went about 145 witch is ok but I need it to get a little higher I think if I want to build it up a bit more.
I went to F.H.E. tonight it was alright we played some games. But honestly I just wasn't in the mood to do anything. In fact I really haven't been in the mood to do anything most of the day. Sometimes I really hate myself for not doing what I should have done, and yet not doing it. even though I had ample opportunity to do it in. Its not like it was something big, or something that in dire need of doing, it was something small. It was one of those things that you take for granted, and don't do enough of. I didn't do it, and I know I should have I am just gutless I think because the only reason why I didn't was because somebody else was there. I know I that shouldn't bother me. I feel really tarable now, it not like its was that important well, to me it is very important and the only reason why I didn't do it was because somebody was watching. Come on man its not like it is going to hurt or anything. As a matter of fact it hurts right now.
Anyways after FHE I went over to a friends house with a couple of friends and we watched Magamind I have never seen that movie before and I thought it was really good.
My stress level has been fluctuating the past couple of days though. I don't know why though because I don't have anything to be stressed about. Well I guess I do, finding work is the only thing that I can think about right know that would cause me stress.
I have been working out on the exercise bike today for a while to try and boost my heart strength, and also because I need to lose some wight as well. I think that I need to tighten the tension on the bike though because I was on there for 15 min and my heat rate never went about 145 witch is ok but I need it to get a little higher I think if I want to build it up a bit more.
I went to F.H.E. tonight it was alright we played some games. But honestly I just wasn't in the mood to do anything. In fact I really haven't been in the mood to do anything most of the day. Sometimes I really hate myself for not doing what I should have done, and yet not doing it. even though I had ample opportunity to do it in. Its not like it was something big, or something that in dire need of doing, it was something small. It was one of those things that you take for granted, and don't do enough of. I didn't do it, and I know I should have I am just gutless I think because the only reason why I didn't was because somebody else was there. I know I that shouldn't bother me. I feel really tarable now, it not like its was that important well, to me it is very important and the only reason why I didn't do it was because somebody was watching. Come on man its not like it is going to hurt or anything. As a matter of fact it hurts right now.
Anyways after FHE I went over to a friends house with a couple of friends and we watched Magamind I have never seen that movie before and I thought it was really good.
Nov 5, 2011
Minner Problems
The past few days have been okay I guess I had some frustration on Friday. Because the bill for the internet was late this month so we payed it later then normal. So they thought that we didn't pay it, so they turned off are internet. Witch is annoying, because now I have to call them to have them turn it back on. So I have been with out internet for about half the day. Isn't amazing how dull the computer seems to be once the internet is taken away. It kinda makes you wounder what people did with them before it was invented. I guess they just used them for documenting, witch is what I use mine for for the most part. I do play games on it. but not as much as I used to. I guess I use it a lot to listen to music, sense I haven't even owned a radio in like 4 years or something like that. I was going to look for jobs to but by the time we got the internet turned back on I had other stuff I was doing and I forgot about it.
Today I went to go and see if I could donate some plasma, but I couldn't my heart rate was to high again. I don't know why I have problems with my heart rate every time I go in there. Its not like I have anything wrong. according to the doctor my cardio vascular system is very healthy. I think it is just because I always get nervuse when I go into there but I don't know why I do. Its not like Im afraid of needles or anything. But to help it I went a got a exercise bike from my grandfather. He hasn't been using it very much so I asked him if I could use it. And sense it is getting colder out side I need to find something to do inside that is easier on my knees. For we all know I have bad knees, but some people don't realize just how bad they really are. So let me tell you it hurts to walk up a lot of stairs, and walk long distances. Pretty much anything with a lot of bending of the knees is bad for me.
I went and cleaned the church at 2 it only took an hour because a lot of people showed up. When I got home I started listing to some music. I found out only music can make you feel so depressed, yet so wonderful at the same time. I have been playing games the rest of the day to detract me of all the erges that I am having. Today has felt like it has been lasting for ever though I just want it to end. But I guess we cant have everything we want no matter how hard we try to get it. I don't know why I keep referring back to relationships when it comes to story time but I have a quote I want to share with you.
Today I went to go and see if I could donate some plasma, but I couldn't my heart rate was to high again. I don't know why I have problems with my heart rate every time I go in there. Its not like I have anything wrong. according to the doctor my cardio vascular system is very healthy. I think it is just because I always get nervuse when I go into there but I don't know why I do. Its not like Im afraid of needles or anything. But to help it I went a got a exercise bike from my grandfather. He hasn't been using it very much so I asked him if I could use it. And sense it is getting colder out side I need to find something to do inside that is easier on my knees. For we all know I have bad knees, but some people don't realize just how bad they really are. So let me tell you it hurts to walk up a lot of stairs, and walk long distances. Pretty much anything with a lot of bending of the knees is bad for me.
I went and cleaned the church at 2 it only took an hour because a lot of people showed up. When I got home I started listing to some music. I found out only music can make you feel so depressed, yet so wonderful at the same time. I have been playing games the rest of the day to detract me of all the erges that I am having. Today has felt like it has been lasting for ever though I just want it to end. But I guess we cant have everything we want no matter how hard we try to get it. I don't know why I keep referring back to relationships when it comes to story time but I have a quote I want to share with you.
“ A great Love is a lot like a good
memory, when its there and you know its there, but its just out of your reach,
it can be all you think about and you can focus on it and try to force it, but
the more you do the more you seem to push it away, but if your patient and you
hold still, well maybe just maybe, it will come to you,”
I Like this quote because it contently reminds me that the things that are most dear to us, the things that mean the most to us are the things that we cannot force into being. For if we do well will end up just pushing it away. Or make it uncomfortable to have in are presence.
Nov 3, 2011
Pass you shall not.... LOL
Thursday- When I got up this morning I took Amber to work, my Elders Corum is taking turns giving her rides to work and picking her up. Just in tell we can find her a permanent ride. That was all I have had planed this morning. So while I was whiting for 12:30 to roll around I decided to do some cleaning for I haven't done it in a couple of weeks. So I cleaned the kitchen, and emptied the dishwasher, sweeped the kitchen floor. I would have moped it but it wouldn't make much a difference for it will just get messy again when my uncle came to work on the pips again. And I also vacuumed the house, and started my laundry. and Surprisingly all of this only took me about an hour.
Well so I just listened to Pandora for a wile and played around on the internet for a while I was listening to the Canadian Tenors I really like them Let me share with you one of there songs that I really like. Its called The Perfect Gift its so moving.
As 12:30 rolled around I went and picked Krysta up and whited for Kimberlee. But she decided not to come. Witch is okay she had something more important to do.
While I am thinking about it I love this song to.
Anywayz back to what I was talking about before. We went to go see Dolphins Tale witch sense I haven't seen any previews for it before I was wondering if I would like it or not. But Krysta said it looked good, and I trust her for we went and saw that and it was really good. We went and eat at Arby's afterwards I love Arby's it is really good.
Now that I am home I have no idea what to do I guess I will try and figure out what type of exercise I will do for indoor cardio work. I won't have to figure it out for to long for I am going to go and get my grandpa's exercise bike on Saturday. So I just have to find something for two nights.
I have been trying to find work, but it is really hard. I can't even find someplace that wants to give me an interview. Good news I only owe the IRS half now I find it ridiculous that they are making me pay this now. Why didn't they have me pay it years ago when I actually made the mistake?
All I have been doing tonight is I have been watching some GSL games. I don't watch them very much but I like to watch them every now and then. I also finished my laundry and sorted it, now it is all away. Tomorrow I will have to find a project to do sense I finished most of what I have had to do today.
For all the Ladies.
Remember when you are picking and outfit to wear.
"A Smile is the Prettiest thing that you can ever Wear"
"PASS YOU SHALL NOT!!!!"
Well so I just listened to Pandora for a wile and played around on the internet for a while I was listening to the Canadian Tenors I really like them Let me share with you one of there songs that I really like. Its called The Perfect Gift its so moving.
As 12:30 rolled around I went and picked Krysta up and whited for Kimberlee. But she decided not to come. Witch is okay she had something more important to do.
While I am thinking about it I love this song to.
Now that I am home I have no idea what to do I guess I will try and figure out what type of exercise I will do for indoor cardio work. I won't have to figure it out for to long for I am going to go and get my grandpa's exercise bike on Saturday. So I just have to find something for two nights.
I have been trying to find work, but it is really hard. I can't even find someplace that wants to give me an interview. Good news I only owe the IRS half now I find it ridiculous that they are making me pay this now. Why didn't they have me pay it years ago when I actually made the mistake?
All I have been doing tonight is I have been watching some GSL games. I don't watch them very much but I like to watch them every now and then. I also finished my laundry and sorted it, now it is all away. Tomorrow I will have to find a project to do sense I finished most of what I have had to do today.
For all the Ladies.
Remember when you are picking and outfit to wear.
"A Smile is the Prettiest thing that you can ever Wear"
"PASS YOU SHALL NOT!!!!"
Nov 2, 2011
Three in one
Monday was a interesting I didn't do much all day except try and get a hold of the IRS. But about 6:30 I went over to a friends house before going to the stake carnival that my stake was holding. And as much as I thought it would be fun, it wasn't as fun as I was hoping it would be. But it was ok still I mean I enjoy talking to people for the most part. Well people that I know should I say, for it may not seem like it but I really am a shy person. at about 9:15 or so we went over to the Higgins to watch Nightmare before Christmas witch is one of my favorite Halloween movies.
Tuesday and Wednesday I haven't done much I looked for work and thats about it. Oh but Wednesday night I went over to Josephs house to watch Captain America I love that show. I cant what for the Avengers to come out next year.
Tuesday and Wednesday I haven't done much I looked for work and thats about it. Oh but Wednesday night I went over to Josephs house to watch Captain America I love that show. I cant what for the Avengers to come out next year.
Oct 30, 2011
The past few days
The past few days have been very stressful to me, let me lay it out for you. Well I would give you details if I could just remember them, but I have a bad memory. I have a hard time remembering what happened a few days ago. But I will give it a shot.
As you all know on Wednesday I went to a friends house and had some smores and hang out by the fire. I love fires for those of you that don't know. Think, think, think what else happened. Thursday and Friday went hadn't have much happen Thursday though I went over to my doctors office to try and get some documents that I needed. But like I suspected before they were not ready.
I might as well forget about them because I needed the documents, but the thing is I needed them like 2 months ago so I might just forget about them because they are no longer useful to me. I just want them to add to my collection that I have been making, with all the other stuff from my testing that I have had done over the past 4-6 months. Friday I have been stressing out because last week I revived a letter from the IRS saying I owe them 600$. I cant afford that, mainly because I have been out of work sense August of 2010, and let me tell you when you been out of work for as long as I have you really have no money. So I did the only thing I could do I sent them a letter telling them that I cant pay it because I have no money. and the reason why I am stressing is I have to pay it by the 9th of November and I still haven't revived anything back from them. I am I am going to have to call them on Monday and figure out what I am going to do. I really hope that I can set up some sort of payment plane or something, or else I think that I am in big trouble.
Saturday I have been looking for work I still cannot find anything witch is really starting to affect my self esteem. I look at it this way, witch is probably why I am starting to get depressed from it again. So I have to stop thinking like this and try harder to do something about it. The thing is the harder I try and nothing happens the more I get depressed about it. Let me tell you why its making me depressed. Well I try and tell you. Let me tell you what you are about to read is my own personal thinking, That changes rapidly this is just what I think know.
I am a very personal person what I mean by that is I have a hard time sharing my feelings. In my entire life there has only been two people that I have been able to be totally honest with. And I out of them, Non want to ever speak to me ever again. So you can see why I am hesitating to wanna tell people how I am feeling. I am afraid of pushing them away. And the reason for that is I am a loving compassionate person that seems to want to help people more then help myself. And that is all I want to I want somebody that will love me with all there heart. And the reason why I don't share my feeling is, when ever I find somebody that I trust enough to tell them. I am afraid to tell them. Because it is somebody that I care for them enough and love them enough that I don't want to push them away, I want to have them stay with me. witch is kinda selfish of me I know but its the only thing I want. I don't care about money, or the fancy things of this world. All I want is, somebody that I can love, hold on to, and take care of. Somebody that I can hug when ever I want to, and snuggle with when I get cold. And in return I take care of you and do anything for or with you that you want or need. Now I know what your thinking, Why are you telling me all this. Well the answer to that is simple.
The way I look at it is with all of these thing that I want and am looking for, I cannot just look up and pluck it from the sky. Just as I wish upon a star, As much as I wish I could just wish it all here that would be to easy. And I know that there is now way it will ever happen. So I have to do it the old fashioned way. Witch Its not working out very well for me. As much as a good friend as I can be I fear that that is All I will every be to people. I just do it to well. And anyways back to the hole not being able to find work. It goes with this because I mean. Who wants to go out with somebody that has no way of supporting them. Isn't that right women are looking for some security in the person that they go out with, witch is okay. I like security to but the problem I am having is. I have no security I cant offer people anything but my love. Witch in this world now a day's it is very hard to find somebody with just that. Because even though people say they don't care about money or about the fancy things in this world. I feel like they are just fouling them selves. Because once you tell them that you have nothing to offer them except compassion, trust, honesty, and loyalty. They turn around and never come back, Now don't tell me this isn't true I have seen int dozens of times witch have all happened to me. I think I have a hard time trusting women, and my thinking toads them is not so good, because the only thing that I have gotten from trusting women is heart each.
But In some way I am glad that they have done this, because if you cant except somebody for just the way they are without all the worldly stuff tagging along behind. Well I am sorry but I say you are not worth my time. for I don't want to date somebody that doesn't care about me. And only cares about what I can give her. So please if you are a person that only cares about what somebody can give you. And don't give a dam about the person him self please just keep on walking. And I am sorry If what I have said has made You feel bad, Its just how I feel. Maybe its just because I have had to many experiences that have ended bad. So in result of it I am very careful with how I date. If you think that anything that I have said is wrong please correct me. For I know I am not a perfect person, and I am very far from it.
Anyway after I have finished thinking about that all I did Saturday was watch some movies and play some games. I was trying to relax I pray next week will be better.
Sunday or today I went to church I was looking forward to it for it makes me happy and at the end of this week I needed to relax and be able to take my mind of of the problems that I am having, and a strange thing. You know I just realized something today, first I will say I believe in premonitions and know for saying that. Friday night I had a dream about me at church and I realized thinking about it. That today my dream came true almost everything today at church happened the same way that it did in my dream. Okay I think that it was kinda creepy, I have never had that happen to me before. Well I have had premonitions before. But not one that has happened so close to what really happened. I mean there was really only one or two thing different.
I know that not a lot of you out there like Big & Rich Here is the song, they write on of my favorite songs. Because I just can Relate to it so much. I am going to put it up but you don't have to listen to it if you don't want to.
As you all know on Wednesday I went to a friends house and had some smores and hang out by the fire. I love fires for those of you that don't know. Think, think, think what else happened. Thursday and Friday went hadn't have much happen Thursday though I went over to my doctors office to try and get some documents that I needed. But like I suspected before they were not ready.
I might as well forget about them because I needed the documents, but the thing is I needed them like 2 months ago so I might just forget about them because they are no longer useful to me. I just want them to add to my collection that I have been making, with all the other stuff from my testing that I have had done over the past 4-6 months. Friday I have been stressing out because last week I revived a letter from the IRS saying I owe them 600$. I cant afford that, mainly because I have been out of work sense August of 2010, and let me tell you when you been out of work for as long as I have you really have no money. So I did the only thing I could do I sent them a letter telling them that I cant pay it because I have no money. and the reason why I am stressing is I have to pay it by the 9th of November and I still haven't revived anything back from them. I am I am going to have to call them on Monday and figure out what I am going to do. I really hope that I can set up some sort of payment plane or something, or else I think that I am in big trouble.
Saturday I have been looking for work I still cannot find anything witch is really starting to affect my self esteem. I look at it this way, witch is probably why I am starting to get depressed from it again. So I have to stop thinking like this and try harder to do something about it. The thing is the harder I try and nothing happens the more I get depressed about it. Let me tell you why its making me depressed. Well I try and tell you. Let me tell you what you are about to read is my own personal thinking, That changes rapidly this is just what I think know.
I am a very personal person what I mean by that is I have a hard time sharing my feelings. In my entire life there has only been two people that I have been able to be totally honest with. And I out of them, Non want to ever speak to me ever again. So you can see why I am hesitating to wanna tell people how I am feeling. I am afraid of pushing them away. And the reason for that is I am a loving compassionate person that seems to want to help people more then help myself. And that is all I want to I want somebody that will love me with all there heart. And the reason why I don't share my feeling is, when ever I find somebody that I trust enough to tell them. I am afraid to tell them. Because it is somebody that I care for them enough and love them enough that I don't want to push them away, I want to have them stay with me. witch is kinda selfish of me I know but its the only thing I want. I don't care about money, or the fancy things of this world. All I want is, somebody that I can love, hold on to, and take care of. Somebody that I can hug when ever I want to, and snuggle with when I get cold. And in return I take care of you and do anything for or with you that you want or need. Now I know what your thinking, Why are you telling me all this. Well the answer to that is simple.
The way I look at it is with all of these thing that I want and am looking for, I cannot just look up and pluck it from the sky. Just as I wish upon a star, As much as I wish I could just wish it all here that would be to easy. And I know that there is now way it will ever happen. So I have to do it the old fashioned way. Witch Its not working out very well for me. As much as a good friend as I can be I fear that that is All I will every be to people. I just do it to well. And anyways back to the hole not being able to find work. It goes with this because I mean. Who wants to go out with somebody that has no way of supporting them. Isn't that right women are looking for some security in the person that they go out with, witch is okay. I like security to but the problem I am having is. I have no security I cant offer people anything but my love. Witch in this world now a day's it is very hard to find somebody with just that. Because even though people say they don't care about money or about the fancy things in this world. I feel like they are just fouling them selves. Because once you tell them that you have nothing to offer them except compassion, trust, honesty, and loyalty. They turn around and never come back, Now don't tell me this isn't true I have seen int dozens of times witch have all happened to me. I think I have a hard time trusting women, and my thinking toads them is not so good, because the only thing that I have gotten from trusting women is heart each.
But In some way I am glad that they have done this, because if you cant except somebody for just the way they are without all the worldly stuff tagging along behind. Well I am sorry but I say you are not worth my time. for I don't want to date somebody that doesn't care about me. And only cares about what I can give her. So please if you are a person that only cares about what somebody can give you. And don't give a dam about the person him self please just keep on walking. And I am sorry If what I have said has made You feel bad, Its just how I feel. Maybe its just because I have had to many experiences that have ended bad. So in result of it I am very careful with how I date. If you think that anything that I have said is wrong please correct me. For I know I am not a perfect person, and I am very far from it.
Anyway after I have finished thinking about that all I did Saturday was watch some movies and play some games. I was trying to relax I pray next week will be better.
Sunday or today I went to church I was looking forward to it for it makes me happy and at the end of this week I needed to relax and be able to take my mind of of the problems that I am having, and a strange thing. You know I just realized something today, first I will say I believe in premonitions and know for saying that. Friday night I had a dream about me at church and I realized thinking about it. That today my dream came true almost everything today at church happened the same way that it did in my dream. Okay I think that it was kinda creepy, I have never had that happen to me before. Well I have had premonitions before. But not one that has happened so close to what really happened. I mean there was really only one or two thing different.
I know that not a lot of you out there like Big & Rich Here is the song, they write on of my favorite songs. Because I just can Relate to it so much. I am going to put it up but you don't have to listen to it if you don't want to.
Oct 27, 2011
Memorys from my child hood
This morning I was thinking of going and getting Scott Pilgrim. I like this show mainly because it is really nerdy. I will say know If you never played video or card games when you were younger, you might have a difficult time following the movie. But that is not the main reason why I went there I found Gumbie the other day. Now for those of you that don't know Gumbie was a show that was on TV about 15 years ago. The hole thing was clay animation using stop motion to simulate it. But while I was standing in line to leave I looked over and you will not believe what I saw, I just had to get it. I Have been looking for it for a long time, but it is now in my position I found the Brave Little Toaster. I have missed that show I haven't seen it sense I was living in West Jordan about 18 years ago or maybe 16 years, some time around there.
I was going to go to a Haunted House. But I don't think I will any more because I don't have the money to there just so expensive. So instead my friend Steven had a fire thing going on. We had smorres and talked it was nice. After wards I came home and finished watching my movie before I went to bed. I was watching Scott Pilgrim witch is the most nerdyist show I have ever seen. every thing in that movie had to deal with something from a game, or comic, or movie, it is funny by my terms.
I was going to go to a Haunted House. But I don't think I will any more because I don't have the money to there just so expensive. So instead my friend Steven had a fire thing going on. We had smorres and talked it was nice. After wards I came home and finished watching my movie before I went to bed. I was watching Scott Pilgrim witch is the most nerdyist show I have ever seen. every thing in that movie had to deal with something from a game, or comic, or movie, it is funny by my terms.
Oct 24, 2011
Funder Asunder
This morning I went to walmart looking for a movie. but they didn't have it. So I went to FYE looking for it and they had it, I new they would they always have what I am looking for. On a side note yesterday was my birthday. Oh woop de du (sarcasm) I really don't care much about my birthday to me its just another day. And honestly I forgot about it till I was reminded of it latter. When I got home I watched Once Upon a Time a new show on ABC it is a good show it just started this week. And know I cant what till next weeks episode.
At 2:00 I went four wheeling with my father. We went into the Uintas above bountiful it was beautiful you could see everything up there. I got back just before 7 so I had to rush and leave to go to FHE. We made cookies it was kinda fun I just wasn't in the mood After that was over we watched a movie at a friends house, we watched Coraline. It is a good movie I think. But know I am home I am ready to go to sleep. You can tell that I am tired because I don't really care about detail right now.
At 2:00 I went four wheeling with my father. We went into the Uintas above bountiful it was beautiful you could see everything up there. I got back just before 7 so I had to rush and leave to go to FHE. We made cookies it was kinda fun I just wasn't in the mood After that was over we watched a movie at a friends house, we watched Coraline. It is a good movie I think. But know I am home I am ready to go to sleep. You can tell that I am tired because I don't really care about detail right now.
Oct 22, 2011
Sleeping problems
Today I was going to go to my cousins selling but I decided to go donate for I need the money. but then I realized that I can because my arm still has a bruise on it. So I am not going to be doing that ether I guess. Ill have to do that Monday. I finally took a shower this morning around 11:30 and it felt good.
I haven't done much today besides watch some movies and play some games. I went to stake conference today though, I thought it was good. But I think I have been siting to long today for my back is starting to hurt. and for some reason my left ankle is to, have no idea why for I haven't done much on it today. But I am going for a run and maybe I might just go to bed. I don't know why but for some reason I have been so tired lately I have been getting the same amount of sleep I always do. It might be because I have been moving around so much at night. Or its because I cant get conferrable I wake up every couple of hours every night, because what ever I am sleeping on is hurting. If I sleep on my back my back hurts, and If I sleep on my side my shoulder hurts. And If I sleep on my stumic I cant spell it, well if I do my ribs hurt, my arms start hurting dew to lack of blood circulation, And I start dulling. It is not a parity pitcher.
I haven't done much today besides watch some movies and play some games. I went to stake conference today though, I thought it was good. But I think I have been siting to long today for my back is starting to hurt. and for some reason my left ankle is to, have no idea why for I haven't done much on it today. But I am going for a run and maybe I might just go to bed. I don't know why but for some reason I have been so tired lately I have been getting the same amount of sleep I always do. It might be because I have been moving around so much at night. Or its because I cant get conferrable I wake up every couple of hours every night, because what ever I am sleeping on is hurting. If I sleep on my back my back hurts, and If I sleep on my side my shoulder hurts. And If I sleep on my stumic I cant spell it, well if I do my ribs hurt, my arms start hurting dew to lack of blood circulation, And I start dulling. It is not a parity pitcher.
Oct 20, 2011
Moving forward
Today was kinda a frustrating yet interesting, yet productive day. when I got up at 8:30 "O why do I wake up so early and cant go back to sleep, I would love to sleep in." So lying in bed thinking about the day I decided to get up dew to boredom and take a shower. And get ready for the day. I cleaned the kitchen and the bathroom today. It took me a while for I have been whiting to clean it for a while now. but I am glade that I have It looks and smells cleaner now.
I finished feeling out the application for GA from the state and I have to call them tomorrow to verify they got my application. If this goes though I will be so happy for it mean I am just that much closer to what I want to happen in future times. I also hope that I will be able to start school in the spring it will be great for me to be able to start.
Tonight my self Krysta, Lauren, and Cris all went to a corn maze and it was fun. after wards we all went back to Lauren's and had hot chocolate and played some games, witch was also fun. I love my friends they make life bearable. And I love my best friend she makes life worth living. Thanks to all of you. Hope you are all doing well.
I finished feeling out the application for GA from the state and I have to call them tomorrow to verify they got my application. If this goes though I will be so happy for it mean I am just that much closer to what I want to happen in future times. I also hope that I will be able to start school in the spring it will be great for me to be able to start.
Tonight my self Krysta, Lauren, and Cris all went to a corn maze and it was fun. after wards we all went back to Lauren's and had hot chocolate and played some games, witch was also fun. I love my friends they make life bearable. And I love my best friend she makes life worth living. Thanks to all of you. Hope you are all doing well.
Oct 19, 2011
Final Decistion
All day yesterday I was home, boring :( so I decided to clean the kitchen, living room finally got vacuumed. It hasn't been for a while because the vacuum was broken. I finally fixed it :) I was going to clean the bathroom to but I never got around to that, but I did clean my room. and still had time to lift some wights. I also mailed the letter to the IRS. So I hope I get some good news from them in a little while. But knowing the IRS anything from them is bad. I went to bed early last night because the other night I didn't sleep very good. I have been so stressed lately.
To day I went and donated when I got up. And afterward I went and got the rest of my Halloween costume. I went and talked with my counselor today about schooling. And I have made a final derision on what I am going to take. I am going to be doing Associate of Applied Science degree in Visual Art and Design/ Animation emphasis. I think that it is going to be good for me to get back into school. But I have to go back and talk with my counselor again on the 8th and see what type of help she can give me to do it.
I applied for General assistance from the government today to see if I can get some money back in my pocket. my counselor says I would apply for the program so we will see what they say. I have been really into the James Bond movies lately and I am now wishing that I had the older ones to not just the ones with Pierce Brosnan and or the ones with Daniel Craig. No I mean the ones with Roger Moore. I think that it would be good, sense I have never seen the older ones anyway. I want to start making another shirt but I don't know what color I want it, or what pitcher or saying to put on it. If anybody reading this has any good ideas let me know. You will never believe what song I have had in my head today. let me share it with you. Its My Immortal by Evanesence.<3 <3
Listing to this song makes me wish I could play the piano, I know what your thinking well why don't you. Well I have tried I just don't have the finger dexterity for it.
To day I went and donated when I got up. And afterward I went and got the rest of my Halloween costume. I went and talked with my counselor today about schooling. And I have made a final derision on what I am going to take. I am going to be doing Associate of Applied Science degree in Visual Art and Design/ Animation emphasis. I think that it is going to be good for me to get back into school. But I have to go back and talk with my counselor again on the 8th and see what type of help she can give me to do it.
I applied for General assistance from the government today to see if I can get some money back in my pocket. my counselor says I would apply for the program so we will see what they say. I have been really into the James Bond movies lately and I am now wishing that I had the older ones to not just the ones with Pierce Brosnan and or the ones with Daniel Craig. No I mean the ones with Roger Moore. I think that it would be good, sense I have never seen the older ones anyway. I want to start making another shirt but I don't know what color I want it, or what pitcher or saying to put on it. If anybody reading this has any good ideas let me know. You will never believe what song I have had in my head today. let me share it with you. Its My Immortal by Evanesence.<3 <3
Oct 17, 2011
Poject time again.
When I got up this morning the first thing I did was write a letter to the IRS because I cannot pay what they say I owe them. I am really hoping that they will understand. If they don't and say that I have to pay it anyway I don't know what I will do.
Anyway I went to the store today and got myself a shirt so I can finish my project. And I did finish my project and It looks great let me give you a hint of what it looks like because I haven't had time to take a pitcher of the finished project so you will just see the pitcher that is on the project.
This is a pitcher of what is on the shirt but I didn't add the words at the bottom on there till after I put the shirt together. So they are not on there. but that saying goes perfectly with the everything else.
I went to FHE tonight we were carving pumpkin's I haven't carved on in years, and frankly I wasn't really sure if I was going to do one or not. But that question was answers for me once I got there. Me, Krysta, and Kimberlee made one. And I thought it turned out great even though we didn't win the competition I thought it was good. after wards we all went and watched Corps Bride I think that it is a really good show. And we decided to watch a Halloween movie sense it is getting closer.
Anyway I went to the store today and got myself a shirt so I can finish my project. And I did finish my project and It looks great let me give you a hint of what it looks like because I haven't had time to take a pitcher of the finished project so you will just see the pitcher that is on the project.
I went to FHE tonight we were carving pumpkin's I haven't carved on in years, and frankly I wasn't really sure if I was going to do one or not. But that question was answers for me once I got there. Me, Krysta, and Kimberlee made one. And I thought it turned out great even though we didn't win the competition I thought it was good. after wards we all went and watched Corps Bride I think that it is a really good show. And we decided to watch a Halloween movie sense it is getting closer.
Oct 15, 2011
Long day
Today I woke up at 8 and could go back to sleep, I wish I could have because now I am tired. I am not going to take a nape though because I will not want to sleep tonight then. After breakfast I went over to see if I could donate today. And good news I could. On the way home i stopped at the Navy Army supply store to see if I could find a gas mask, and yes I did find one. I will have to what till next week to get it most likely I checked on Satine before I went over there, She is doing good. And just to make sure on my way home I checked on her again. I have been playing around on the computer for most of the rest of the day. I have also been trying to figure out what type of job training I want to do. I went over to check on Satine one last time about 5. but eh Higgins were already home so I just dropped off the key and went back home. I must say though today has seemed like it is just dragging on and on and on. I have been working on this designee that I am going to put on a shirt its going to be so cool. But you will only know what it is talking about if you are a nerd :)
Oct 13, 2011
Busy day
This morning when I got up I was really tired because I went to bed late last night. around 2 because I wanted to finish the movie before I went to bed. I went and checked on Satine after i ate breakfast. And when I got back I decided to leave again to go and look for some fabric paint I want to make a design on a shirt it looked cool. I also was looking for a new Heat pad for Krista.
I found one, and now that I am home I need to clean my gun I haven't done that yet from when we went shooting. I also need to finish sorting my laundry to. I guess I better get started sense it will take me 2 hours about to clean my gun. I should record it next time I clean it, that way you guys now how to take a gun apart and put it back together. And know how to clean one if you ever need to.
I found one, and now that I am home I need to clean my gun I haven't done that yet from when we went shooting. I also need to finish sorting my laundry to. I guess I better get started sense it will take me 2 hours about to clean my gun. I should record it next time I clean it, that way you guys now how to take a gun apart and put it back together. And know how to clean one if you ever need to.
Oct 12, 2011
Vampires vs Zombies
Today I haven't done much I went and donated today. It was really hot in there building. I was wondering if I would be able to even donate today. Because it was so hot. On the way over there I checked on Satine she is doing good. When I got home I eat some lunch and watched some Deadliest Warrior I watched an episode that was very interesting today. They did a battle between Vampires and Zombies. Witch we all know how this is going to turn out.
Vampires will win of course, reasons. One they are 6x stronger and faster then an Olympic athlete, they have enhanced senses, and and regeneration you cant forget the most impotent trait, they are Immortal.
Stats according to original stats from the real vampires like Blade Van Hellsing and 30 days of night. The strength of a vampire in a single punch is somewhere around 8,800 PSI, and can run a mile in under a minuet. I am getting all these stats from the original writers of the story's. I have been tempting to make some maps for Starcraft it staking forever. mainly because I have to figure out all the addets that I am using.
I went over and checked on Satine, I think she is getting used to me now, because when I pick her up she doesn't shy away.
Have you noticed how people don't know karate til they run into that unexpected invisible web, then all of a sudden everybody became karate masters :)
Vampires will win of course, reasons. One they are 6x stronger and faster then an Olympic athlete, they have enhanced senses, and and regeneration you cant forget the most impotent trait, they are Immortal.
Stats according to original stats from the real vampires like Blade Van Hellsing and 30 days of night. The strength of a vampire in a single punch is somewhere around 8,800 PSI, and can run a mile in under a minuet. I am getting all these stats from the original writers of the story's. I have been tempting to make some maps for Starcraft it staking forever. mainly because I have to figure out all the addets that I am using.
I went over and checked on Satine, I think she is getting used to me now, because when I pick her up she doesn't shy away.
Have you noticed how people don't know karate til they run into that unexpected invisible web, then all of a sudden everybody became karate masters :)
Oct 11, 2011
Last couple of days
Monday
Today I mowed the lawn when I got up I wasn't going to go to, but I thought I should do it before it starts raining again. And I am glad that I did sense it started raining this afternoon. I haven't done much sense then I watched a movie and played some games. I left around six to go to FHE we were going on a corn maze. I left so early because I went over to check on Satine, I am looking after Krista's snake this week. She is doing fine I mad sure she had water and turned on the lamp, and the heating pad I will have to clean here cage in a couple of days because she is starting to shed.
After that I headed of to FHE I had fun we went on the corn maze. And the person that we were originally following got us lost on purpose. So I decided that I was going to lead for now on. I find that I pride myself on self direction. For once I was leading it didn't even take us five minuets to find are way out. Its not that I know were I am going. I just follow my gut, it is very simple this is how you do it. If you get a feeling that you should go that way don't second guess it just go that way. I find that when I follow my gut that it is never wrong.
Me, Joseph, Lauren, Cris, Hanna, Neil, and somebody else witch I forgot his name all went over to Joesph's house to watch Monsters VS Aliens. It is a good show. when that was over with I wen and checked on Satine again before I went home.
Tuesday
Today has been kinda busy I took a shower when I got up and after that I went over and checked on Sataine when I got home I went to This is the Place with my mother, and Cara for those of you that don't know how that is that is my brothers girlfriend. We walked around there for a couple of hours. It was interesting I have never been up there before, well never been inside before. I have been to the visitors center though. I just found out today also that my cousin had a stroke last night. :( its not good. hope she will get better soon. also while I am on this subject my grandfather is engaged again. didn't take any time, because my grandmother died less then a year ago. Man he is not even giving it anytime.
I have a doctors appointment today I have to go to. And when I say a doctors appointment I mean a Phyc doctor I had an I.Q. test done and honestly I think I did okay. maybe a little below average, but ok. Well maybe I wont really know for a while I went over and checked on Satine I love snakes <3 I took her out of here cage for a while and held her. I changed here water because there was skin in it.
Today I mowed the lawn when I got up I wasn't going to go to, but I thought I should do it before it starts raining again. And I am glad that I did sense it started raining this afternoon. I haven't done much sense then I watched a movie and played some games. I left around six to go to FHE we were going on a corn maze. I left so early because I went over to check on Satine, I am looking after Krista's snake this week. She is doing fine I mad sure she had water and turned on the lamp, and the heating pad I will have to clean here cage in a couple of days because she is starting to shed.
After that I headed of to FHE I had fun we went on the corn maze. And the person that we were originally following got us lost on purpose. So I decided that I was going to lead for now on. I find that I pride myself on self direction. For once I was leading it didn't even take us five minuets to find are way out. Its not that I know were I am going. I just follow my gut, it is very simple this is how you do it. If you get a feeling that you should go that way don't second guess it just go that way. I find that when I follow my gut that it is never wrong.
Me, Joseph, Lauren, Cris, Hanna, Neil, and somebody else witch I forgot his name all went over to Joesph's house to watch Monsters VS Aliens. It is a good show. when that was over with I wen and checked on Satine again before I went home.
Tuesday
Today has been kinda busy I took a shower when I got up and after that I went over and checked on Sataine when I got home I went to This is the Place with my mother, and Cara for those of you that don't know how that is that is my brothers girlfriend. We walked around there for a couple of hours. It was interesting I have never been up there before, well never been inside before. I have been to the visitors center though. I just found out today also that my cousin had a stroke last night. :( its not good. hope she will get better soon. also while I am on this subject my grandfather is engaged again. didn't take any time, because my grandmother died less then a year ago. Man he is not even giving it anytime.
I have a doctors appointment today I have to go to. And when I say a doctors appointment I mean a Phyc doctor I had an I.Q. test done and honestly I think I did okay. maybe a little below average, but ok. Well maybe I wont really know for a while I went over and checked on Satine I love snakes <3 I took her out of here cage for a while and held her. I changed here water because there was skin in it.
Oct 9, 2011
Bonding Moment
Daring Elder Randlle K. Benett's talk on the afternoon session of conference. He talked about not just watching for the signs, but also to heed there warning.
Let me share a story with you. that I found the other day of a family from Norway.
As a little girl and her father were crossing a bridge as they were camping. The father was kinda scared, so he asked his little daughter. "Sweetheart please hold my hand. So that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said. "No, Daddy. You hold my hand."
"Whats the difference? Asked the puzzled father." " There is a big difference." Replied the little girl." If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go..."
Now I tell you this story because I had a simaler story. That follows Benett's story as well.
As me and my family were on a trip to Disney Land. we were driving by the sore line. So we decided to stop and swim for a while before we went to are hotel. As I was playing by the sore and have as much fun as a boy can have building sand castles. As time went along I become aware that I was left alone. Everyone was out beyond the the waves. Being a boy of 7 I didn't want to be left out. so I started for the water. Ignoring my mothers warnings of not to go into the water. And being that young I don't know anything about under tows in the water. As I waded out into the water I was swept of my feet. And drag out under the water. I desperately tried to gain my footing again and again. but every time I did, the water seemed to pull me back under. I got trapped in the swirling water of the waves. Having sand, and salt water in my eyes and throat. And not able to get to the serfice I really thought I was going to die. But without warning. I felt something pushed me up to the serfic just long enough that long enough between the gasping for air, and swallowing I managed to get out a cry for help. before the water pulled me back under. Frantically trying to swim towards the serfice I hit something hard above me with my hand. without know what it was I tried to grab onto it. when I was able to get a grip I realized it was a hand. I don't know how it was, or how pulled me to the shore. But I thank them. for with out them I would not be here.
"In any relationship the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather then expecting them to hold yours..."
Let me share a story with you. that I found the other day of a family from Norway.
As a little girl and her father were crossing a bridge as they were camping. The father was kinda scared, so he asked his little daughter. "Sweetheart please hold my hand. So that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said. "No, Daddy. You hold my hand."
"Whats the difference? Asked the puzzled father." " There is a big difference." Replied the little girl." If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go..."
Now I tell you this story because I had a simaler story. That follows Benett's story as well.
As me and my family were on a trip to Disney Land. we were driving by the sore line. So we decided to stop and swim for a while before we went to are hotel. As I was playing by the sore and have as much fun as a boy can have building sand castles. As time went along I become aware that I was left alone. Everyone was out beyond the the waves. Being a boy of 7 I didn't want to be left out. so I started for the water. Ignoring my mothers warnings of not to go into the water. And being that young I don't know anything about under tows in the water. As I waded out into the water I was swept of my feet. And drag out under the water. I desperately tried to gain my footing again and again. but every time I did, the water seemed to pull me back under. I got trapped in the swirling water of the waves. Having sand, and salt water in my eyes and throat. And not able to get to the serfice I really thought I was going to die. But without warning. I felt something pushed me up to the serfic just long enough that long enough between the gasping for air, and swallowing I managed to get out a cry for help. before the water pulled me back under. Frantically trying to swim towards the serfice I hit something hard above me with my hand. without know what it was I tried to grab onto it. when I was able to get a grip I realized it was a hand. I don't know how it was, or how pulled me to the shore. But I thank them. for with out them I would not be here.
"In any relationship the essence of trust is not in its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather then expecting them to hold yours..."
Oct 7, 2011
Feeling cold
Today when I got up I was really cold. I took a shower and played around on the computer for a little while.
Why is it that my and always goes ice cold when I am on the computer. the funny thing is its always the right hand never the left. I have talked to people about it. And they think that its because my hand is still the hold time I am not moving. If that is the case the why doesn't the rest of my body feel cold because its not moving. After that I eat breakfast and watched a movie while I worked out after wards. I watched Clear In Present Danger. Harrison Ford is a great actor.
Watching the X-Files today, really the past week m mother has really gotten into them and sense its playing right behind me I can hear everything that is being said. So you could say I am kinda watching it to. Bit its ok I love the X-Files. mainly because David Duchovny is in it. You have no idea how much I wish I had a job I am so bored. Lol its almost like I have nothing to do. I hope it kinda worms up soon, because I am not ready for this cold weather yet.
Really I don't like cold weather that much anymore. I used to but not now. I am starting to get cold easier then I used to. I prefer cool weather. I don't like hot weather ether. I get sick if it gets to hot. So much for running but I don't like running in the cold. So I have to fined other things to work on my cardio work out. Wish I still had the punching bag.
I went and got my drivers license renewed yesterday that's a good thing, now all i need to do is to get a job so I can start driving my car again. Or pray my SSN goes throw.
Why is it that my and always goes ice cold when I am on the computer. the funny thing is its always the right hand never the left. I have talked to people about it. And they think that its because my hand is still the hold time I am not moving. If that is the case the why doesn't the rest of my body feel cold because its not moving. After that I eat breakfast and watched a movie while I worked out after wards. I watched Clear In Present Danger. Harrison Ford is a great actor.
Watching the X-Files today, really the past week m mother has really gotten into them and sense its playing right behind me I can hear everything that is being said. So you could say I am kinda watching it to. Bit its ok I love the X-Files. mainly because David Duchovny is in it. You have no idea how much I wish I had a job I am so bored. Lol its almost like I have nothing to do. I hope it kinda worms up soon, because I am not ready for this cold weather yet.
Really I don't like cold weather that much anymore. I used to but not now. I am starting to get cold easier then I used to. I prefer cool weather. I don't like hot weather ether. I get sick if it gets to hot. So much for running but I don't like running in the cold. So I have to fined other things to work on my cardio work out. Wish I still had the punching bag.
I went and got my drivers license renewed yesterday that's a good thing, now all i need to do is to get a job so I can start driving my car again. Or pray my SSN goes throw.
“You
must not fear death my lady, defy him and you will drive him into the enemy’s
ranks”
-Napoleon
Oct 5, 2011
Bored
So much for mowing the lawn today, it has been raining all day. My mother has left the windows open all day to. So now I am cold. witch doesn't happen very often. But it also doesn't help that I have been drinking cold drinks all day to. I finished my laundry today, but now I have to fold them. I finished the campaign today again for total war.
Here is a question why do I seem to always have a head ache. I don't really have much to say today. I have watched both the MIB movies I like them. :) I have also worked out today and it felt good. But I don't really have anything to do today. So I have been bored most of the day.
Here is a question why do I seem to always have a head ache. I don't really have much to say today. I have watched both the MIB movies I like them. :) I have also worked out today and it felt good. But I don't really have anything to do today. So I have been bored most of the day.
Oct 4, 2011
Pondering present and past events.
Today I was going to mow the lawn but when I went outside to do so. I noticed that it wasn't that long so i will what to do it till next week. or later this week. I started watching the 13th warrior. It is a really good show. There are some movies that are rated R. for reasons that escape my mind. the only thing that the movie has is gore. But even still there is not much of it. so I don't know why.
I have been writing my story today. about past events. And know its not a blog. witch is about past events. It is about something that happened to me when I was very young. I will be posting it at the end of the week. Even though I am already done writing it. I don't want anybody to read it till I am done using it for what I wrote it for in the first place.
Tonight at FHE we had a B&Q and were going to have a fire, but it started to rain. We still had the fire but a lot of people just stayed inside. after wards a few friends and myself watched Rio. It is a good movie, never seen it before tonight. and now that its after ten I am going to heed home.
I have been writing my story today. about past events. And know its not a blog. witch is about past events. It is about something that happened to me when I was very young. I will be posting it at the end of the week. Even though I am already done writing it. I don't want anybody to read it till I am done using it for what I wrote it for in the first place.
Tonight at FHE we had a B&Q and were going to have a fire, but it started to rain. We still had the fire but a lot of people just stayed inside. after wards a few friends and myself watched Rio. It is a good movie, never seen it before tonight. and now that its after ten I am going to heed home.
Oct 2, 2011
Conference and more
Saturday
This is the duration over this weekend covering the General Conference. I woke up just in time for it to start.
And I watched both, the morning and evening session. I went to priesthood meeting down at the conference building. I don't remember If I have ever been there for a session before. I don't think so. I really liked the talks from Holland and Uchtdorf talk. I think there are the two that I like listening to the most, Besides the prophet. I always enjoy listening to him. I think the stories that he talks about to try and make it easier for people to understand are very good.
On the way back Jo dropped me off at my house, because my care got towed. Its not my fault, they need to put the sigh'ns were people can actually see them. I think they do that on prosper so people have to pay to get there cars out. I don't know how long the car is going to be in there. because I don't have the money to get it. for me to get it out is 250 dollars I don't even have 50 :( this makes me really depressed. why do I always have bad luck with cars. Maybe I should just stop driving it would save me a lot of trouble If I am not having to fix something on my car. I am paying some ticket or something. It might be easier if I just stopped driving.
Sunday
I love Sunday it always has its special meaning. Sunday is the day that I always feel the best throw the entire week. Even though it could be better. There is one thing that can make it better. Is to feel loved. And not the same type of love you get from your parents. That is something totally different. I am talking about the comfort of that special someone.
This is the duration over this weekend covering the General Conference. I woke up just in time for it to start.
And I watched both, the morning and evening session. I went to priesthood meeting down at the conference building. I don't remember If I have ever been there for a session before. I don't think so. I really liked the talks from Holland and Uchtdorf talk. I think there are the two that I like listening to the most, Besides the prophet. I always enjoy listening to him. I think the stories that he talks about to try and make it easier for people to understand are very good.
On the way back Jo dropped me off at my house, because my care got towed. Its not my fault, they need to put the sigh'ns were people can actually see them. I think they do that on prosper so people have to pay to get there cars out. I don't know how long the car is going to be in there. because I don't have the money to get it. for me to get it out is 250 dollars I don't even have 50 :( this makes me really depressed. why do I always have bad luck with cars. Maybe I should just stop driving it would save me a lot of trouble If I am not having to fix something on my car. I am paying some ticket or something. It might be easier if I just stopped driving.
Sunday
I love Sunday it always has its special meaning. Sunday is the day that I always feel the best throw the entire week. Even though it could be better. There is one thing that can make it better. Is to feel loved. And not the same type of love you get from your parents. That is something totally different. I am talking about the comfort of that special someone.
Oh, the comfort - the inexpressible comfort of
feeling safe with a person - having neither to weigh thoughts nor
measure words, but pouring them all right out, just as they are, chaff
and grain together; certain that a faithful hand will take and sift
them, keep what is worth keeping, and then with the breath of kindness
blow the rest away.
-Dinah Craik
Today's session of conference was good, both of them. I really liked Randlle K. Benett's talk. It reminded me of a story from my past that I kinda forgot about. but his story about swimming in the ocean reminded me of mine. I won't go into the details because its kinda long story. I am just going to say that I may not be here. Between sessions I went and got my car from the towing yard.
And know I am listening to Enya. <3 And one of my favorite songs from here is May It Be
Today's session of conference was good, both of them. I really liked Randlle K. Benett's talk. It reminded me of a story from my past that I kinda forgot about. but his story about swimming in the ocean reminded me of mine. I won't go into the details because its kinda long story. I am just going to say that I may not be here. Between sessions I went and got my car from the towing yard.
And know I am listening to Enya. <3 And one of my favorite songs from here is May It Be
I love this song and I like the music video to, I love Lord of the Rings. <3
I found this earlier today and I thought is was good advice and cute. So I am going to share it with you.
A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter. “Sweetheart,
please hold my hand so that you don’t fall into the river.” The little girl
said: “No, Dad. You hold my hand.”
“What’s the difference?” Asked the puzzled father.
“There is a big difference.” Replied the little girl.
“If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let
you hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what
happens, you will never let my hand go.”
“In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in
its bind, but in its bond. So hold the hand of the person whom you love rather
then expecting them to hold yours…”
Sep 30, 2011
Nice time
Today was a good day. It started off by getting ready for the day. I didn't eat breakfast until about 11:00 though. I went to a movie with a friend around noon. We went to Transformers The Dark Side of The Moon I thought it was good. After wards we went and eat at subway. I love subway. haven't been there in a wile though. Man it was so good.
I filed out a form for food stamps today when I got home. and its a good think For if I don't I wont eat. And we all have to eat. I lied down for a while when I got home, because I had a head ache I think it was because I had some caffeine earlier. And sense I haven't had any in a long time it gave me a head ache.
I finished watching my movie. I was watching Pitch Black with Vin Diesel I think he is such a great actor. I had to watch it because yesterday I watched http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0296572/ witch is a great show. But that's not the reason why I like Vin I like him for his role in the Fast & Furious, witch is a great show
So that's the highlights of my day. Doing stuff with a very good friend of mine. And watching one of my favorite actors. Now tomorrow is going to be good. well it should be.
And one more thing. I have had this song in my head all day. I love this song. I don't know why, every time I hear it, it brings back memories that I am trying to forget. So why do I keep doing stuff that keep bring them back.
I filed out a form for food stamps today when I got home. and its a good think For if I don't I wont eat. And we all have to eat. I lied down for a while when I got home, because I had a head ache I think it was because I had some caffeine earlier. And sense I haven't had any in a long time it gave me a head ache.
I finished watching my movie. I was watching Pitch Black with Vin Diesel I think he is such a great actor. I had to watch it because yesterday I watched http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0296572/ witch is a great show. But that's not the reason why I like Vin I like him for his role in the Fast & Furious, witch is a great show
So that's the highlights of my day. Doing stuff with a very good friend of mine. And watching one of my favorite actors. Now tomorrow is going to be good. well it should be.
And one more thing. I have had this song in my head all day. I love this song. I don't know why, every time I hear it, it brings back memories that I am trying to forget. So why do I keep doing stuff that keep bring them back.
Sep 26, 2011
Perfect Love
"Love Isn't finding a perfect person, its seeing an Imperfect person Perfectly."
I love this quote it defines what we need to find in everybody, "Being human means having fault. We are all willing to learn, willing to work tords perfection, for having perfection, is not being the best at something. It is doing you best at something and understanding the difference.
My thoughts on relationships are interesting. I mean, there is what
people say, and then there is what really needs to happen. I try to
play by the form that works the best. For those of you that don't know
yet, let me outline the bread and butter of how all relationships need
to be. I'm not saying this because its what works the best for me. I
am saying this because it is what will always work. I promise you if
you follow all the steps and rules you will never fail.
Okay, I was just kidding. There are no steps, just rules. For the most
part, it doesn't matter what order you do them in just as long as you
have all of them in the end. Ill try and make these so you can read them
but you might have to zoom in on some of them.
Just remember what I am about to tell you. You don't have to follow it. It's just what I know to work.
Let me start by saying the best way to describe this whole thing is with a triangle. I like to call it "The Triangle of Relationships." This is what it looks like:
I know what you are thinking. It looks like just every other triangle. Well, that is were you are wrong. This one is special, and let me tell you why.
For all relationships, what is the number one thing you need? Can you guess what that is? Let me give you a hint. Are you ready for this? Its You.
A Relationship cannot exist without a MAM and a WOMEN. Despite what you may think, this dose only work if you have a MAN and a WOMEN. Let me tell you why.
Its not enough to just have each other. You need one other person. You know who that is. He is the most important person in you relationship. Yes even more impotent then your significant other. Tired of whiting to find out? Well scroll
That's right its God. God is the most important person in your relationship. He is what connects us spiritually. This is why this triangle will not work if you are gay. still confused why. Well let me explain it in a little more detail for you. If you read LEVITICUS 18:22-23 For those of you who have not read this before, I suggest you read it.. It says "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with woman kind: it is an abomination." If you read in the footnotes, its talking about Homosexuality.
If you have all three of these (MAN, WOMEN, and GOD) you are ready for the next step, witch contains what everybody needs in every relationship .
Friendship is one of the most important bases that every person needs in a relationship. It is like your bread and butter. Friendship is a must have.
I like to call this the C.T.R. Program. "C.T.R." stands for three very important things to have. Nothing is going to last without them.
"C" is for commitment. Commitment is an important part of this program, due to fact that if either you or your partner are not committed on seeing this through all the way, you might as well stop. It's not going to last, and you will most likely end up hurting someone.
"T" stands for Trust. It is important that you trust each other. Trust is a form of Honesty and Honesty is important. Lies do nothing but cause pain for everybody that becomes involved in them.
Last, but not least, we have Respect. You must respect each other in everything and every decision. Commitment, Trust, and Respect are a trio and work together. You need to Trust somebody to be able to Respect them. In turn, they will do the same for you. But how can you Trust and Respect somebody if you are not Committed to them? The C.T.R. program doesn't only apply to love relationships. It works with a Friendship too. Hence Friendship is continually useful though out this entire design.
Onward to the next stage...
COMMUNICATION Is the Key to all success In every Relationship. No matter on the reason of the relationship. Everything that I have been talking about up to this point will not work unless you have Communication. Doesn't matter who you are with or the reasons that you are with each other it can not work without Communication.. Let me explain., without the simple task of talking to one another. Immediately takes away all the Trust, and Respect. And with out those you can not have Friendship. for Friendship consists of Trusting people to the point of Respecting them. And taking out all that. there is no need for Commitment sense there is no Friendship to be Commuted to. And if there is no Commitment THERE IS NO RELATIONSHIP. So I will say again. Communication is the KEY to All Relationships.
And the Last part of a Loving Relationship is......
That's right it's Intimacy. Bet you weren't expecting that. And when I talk about Intimacy. I don't Mean Intercourse.
What I am talking about is something that is simple and sweet. LOVE Love that person. and not just telling but showing you Love them 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Once you are able to reach this stage. And complete it with Perfection. Then there is nothing else to teach you. And Just remember. Perfection. is not being perfect at what you are doing. But Perfectly doing it to the best of your ability.
Now as you are pondering what you have learned today, just remember.
And tell yourself if you are looking for that somebody.
And If you have found that person. Just follow this chart and you will be okay.
And this is the Finale addition I have been thinking and I revised it so this is what it should look like know
Just remember what I am about to tell you. You don't have to follow it. It's just what I know to work.
Let me start by saying the best way to describe this whole thing is with a triangle. I like to call it "The Triangle of Relationships." This is what it looks like:
For all relationships, what is the number one thing you need? Can you guess what that is? Let me give you a hint. Are you ready for this? Its You.
A Relationship cannot exist without a MAM and a WOMEN. Despite what you may think, this dose only work if you have a MAN and a WOMEN. Let me tell you why.
Its not enough to just have each other. You need one other person. You know who that is. He is the most important person in you relationship. Yes even more impotent then your significant other. Tired of whiting to find out? Well scroll
That's right its God. God is the most important person in your relationship. He is what connects us spiritually. This is why this triangle will not work if you are gay. still confused why. Well let me explain it in a little more detail for you. If you read LEVITICUS 18:22-23 For those of you who have not read this before, I suggest you read it.. It says "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with woman kind: it is an abomination." If you read in the footnotes, its talking about Homosexuality.
If you have all three of these (MAN, WOMEN, and GOD) you are ready for the next step, witch contains what everybody needs in every relationship .
Friendship is one of the most important bases that every person needs in a relationship. It is like your bread and butter. Friendship is a must have.
I like to call this the C.T.R. Program. "C.T.R." stands for three very important things to have. Nothing is going to last without them.
"C" is for commitment. Commitment is an important part of this program, due to fact that if either you or your partner are not committed on seeing this through all the way, you might as well stop. It's not going to last, and you will most likely end up hurting someone.
"T" stands for Trust. It is important that you trust each other. Trust is a form of Honesty and Honesty is important. Lies do nothing but cause pain for everybody that becomes involved in them.
Last, but not least, we have Respect. You must respect each other in everything and every decision. Commitment, Trust, and Respect are a trio and work together. You need to Trust somebody to be able to Respect them. In turn, they will do the same for you. But how can you Trust and Respect somebody if you are not Committed to them? The C.T.R. program doesn't only apply to love relationships. It works with a Friendship too. Hence Friendship is continually useful though out this entire design.
Onward to the next stage...
COMMUNICATION Is the Key to all success In every Relationship. No matter on the reason of the relationship. Everything that I have been talking about up to this point will not work unless you have Communication. Doesn't matter who you are with or the reasons that you are with each other it can not work without Communication.. Let me explain., without the simple task of talking to one another. Immediately takes away all the Trust, and Respect. And with out those you can not have Friendship. for Friendship consists of Trusting people to the point of Respecting them. And taking out all that. there is no need for Commitment sense there is no Friendship to be Commuted to. And if there is no Commitment THERE IS NO RELATIONSHIP. So I will say again. Communication is the KEY to All Relationships.
And the Last part of a Loving Relationship is......
That's right it's Intimacy. Bet you weren't expecting that. And when I talk about Intimacy. I don't Mean Intercourse.
What I am talking about is something that is simple and sweet. LOVE Love that person. and not just telling but showing you Love them 24 hours a day 7 days a week. Once you are able to reach this stage. And complete it with Perfection. Then there is nothing else to teach you. And Just remember. Perfection. is not being perfect at what you are doing. But Perfectly doing it to the best of your ability.
Now as you are pondering what you have learned today, just remember.
“A great relationship would have to
start with communication; it is the base principle for trust, respect, and
commitment. A great relationship needs these, as well as friendship, you need
to be conferrable enough around somebody to be able to talk to them, hence
communication with no fear of judgment or rejection.
So to sum up a good relationship would consist of trust, honesty, respect, commitment, communication, and friendship, witch hopefully would turn into love, but in order for that to happen you need to cherish it with all your heart, for example, a relationship is like a flower, at first you need to nourish it, take care of it, and eventually it will turn into a beautiful blossom.”
So to sum up a good relationship would consist of trust, honesty, respect, commitment, communication, and friendship, witch hopefully would turn into love, but in order for that to happen you need to cherish it with all your heart, for example, a relationship is like a flower, at first you need to nourish it, take care of it, and eventually it will turn into a beautiful blossom.”
And tell yourself if you are looking for that somebody.
“Well I am looking for compassion,
companionship, somebody that I can get to know and be a friend to, and perhaps
more if there is a fire burning inside, I am looking for that spark, to bind
everlasting friendship, kindness, trust, and love, I am here to get to know
you, by tearing away the hardened layers of your shell, to get to the worm
undercoating of your heart.”
And If you have found that person. Just follow this chart and you will be okay.
And this is the Finale addition I have been thinking and I revised it so this is what it should look like know
Miss Match day.
Today I didn't get done what I wanted to get done. so I guess I will have to do that tomorrow. When I got up this morning I went over to SLCC to look at some corses and found some that I like but I am going to go throw the rest of the book this week and see if there is anything else that looks interesting. that I might want to take.
I wrote my other blog today. On a subject that Is very important to me. It took me about 2 and a half hours to make so it is kinda long. but I think people will enjoy it.
I went to FHE tonight. we were having a movie night. out side on a big screen. it really was fun. but kinda cold. but not to cold. I got kinda cold. but not cold enough were I needed a blanket. It was kinda bad because about half way throw the movie I really needed to go to the bathroom, but I didn't want to get up and go.
Now that I am home I am going to finish this. and post both of the posts. And go and finish the Laundry that I started earlyer today. I also cleaned the house a bit. and took out the trash. and emptied the dishwasher. and disposed of are old couch.
I wrote my other blog today. On a subject that Is very important to me. It took me about 2 and a half hours to make so it is kinda long. but I think people will enjoy it.
I went to FHE tonight. we were having a movie night. out side on a big screen. it really was fun. but kinda cold. but not to cold. I got kinda cold. but not cold enough were I needed a blanket. It was kinda bad because about half way throw the movie I really needed to go to the bathroom, but I didn't want to get up and go.
Now that I am home I am going to finish this. and post both of the posts. And go and finish the Laundry that I started earlyer today. I also cleaned the house a bit. and took out the trash. and emptied the dishwasher. and disposed of are old couch.
Sep 25, 2011
Comeing up
I don't have much to report today. All I am to say. is I am making a prity big blog, not in that it is going to be long. well it might. But it is about an important subject so I am making sure that I am thinking hard on how to write it. so it makes sense.
Sep 24, 2011
Not Much
Today I haven't done much. Its been one of those lazy days. I watched some movies. and Played some games. and that's about it. I didn't go anywhere. Or do anything productive. And i have been listening to music all day I guess. I was going to go over to SLCC today but I forgot about it till just this moment I guess Ill do that Monday.
I guess I have been watching videos on YouTube today to. And I found a video. that you guys might like.
Its called
Real Life Mario Kart
I guess I have been watching videos on YouTube today to. And I found a video. that you guys might like.
Its called
Real Life Mario Kart
Sep 23, 2011
Achevments of pain
Today When I got up I was watching a movie. I don't remember what it was. I have always had a problem with my short turn memory. I went and donated plasma after wards I was originally going to have my mother drive me over there. But I decided not to, because I need to relax and I can never relax when she is driving.
I have been doing good lately on trying to lower my heart rate, because when I had it tested today when I was over there. it was at 77. Now that is the lowest it has ever been. when I got home I was reading the sheets that my Stake President gave to me to help me. And I think it is helping a little. but I still cant tell if is making a difference.
After I finished reading that I layed down for a while because I was kinda tired. I didn't want to fall asleep, but cant control that. I ended up sleeping for an hour, but the way I was sleeping on the bed mad it so I cut off all circulation to my legs and arms. So I think that is why I really woke up because they hurt a lot when I got up. I also had a massive head ache. And I also didn't drink enough water when I got home because I was really light headed, I think that's why I had the head ache. Because it went away after I drank more water.
But I am feeling a lot better now. I am going to bed early tonight. because I am starting to get cold. And that is not a good thing. The only time I usually get cold is right before I get sick. so I just need to sleep more. and try and stay warm and I should be fine. I was looking around on YouTube today and found a video I want to share with you guys because I really like it.
I chose this video because I really like Doctor Who. and watching them I think that this song goes really well with this show. Speaking of shows I watched NCIS Los Angeles because I have never seen that show before and I didn't watch it yesterday. And I was thinking sense I watched the other one I should watch this one. and see If it is good.
There was a dance at the institute tonight, but I don't think I will go because for two reasons. One I don't have anybody to go with. And I know that isn't that bad, I could just meet someone there. I would have to say it is reason two is the reason why I am not going. The only type of dancing I like to do is slow dancing. and when we go to these type of dances it really isn't slow dancing at all.
I have been doing good lately on trying to lower my heart rate, because when I had it tested today when I was over there. it was at 77. Now that is the lowest it has ever been. when I got home I was reading the sheets that my Stake President gave to me to help me. And I think it is helping a little. but I still cant tell if is making a difference.
After I finished reading that I layed down for a while because I was kinda tired. I didn't want to fall asleep, but cant control that. I ended up sleeping for an hour, but the way I was sleeping on the bed mad it so I cut off all circulation to my legs and arms. So I think that is why I really woke up because they hurt a lot when I got up. I also had a massive head ache. And I also didn't drink enough water when I got home because I was really light headed, I think that's why I had the head ache. Because it went away after I drank more water.
But I am feeling a lot better now. I am going to bed early tonight. because I am starting to get cold. And that is not a good thing. The only time I usually get cold is right before I get sick. so I just need to sleep more. and try and stay warm and I should be fine. I was looking around on YouTube today and found a video I want to share with you guys because I really like it.
There was a dance at the institute tonight, but I don't think I will go because for two reasons. One I don't have anybody to go with. And I know that isn't that bad, I could just meet someone there. I would have to say it is reason two is the reason why I am not going. The only type of dancing I like to do is slow dancing. and when we go to these type of dances it really isn't slow dancing at all.
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